If you go to the RZIM.org website, you can read a report on the illicit behavior of Ravi Zacharias.

Admittedly, no one wants to read this report. Some may think it’s wrong to read it, or even talk about it. I understand. Trust me: this has been extremely difficult for me. I take no pleasure in writing about this. I have cried over this report. It is devastating. Whether one received from this man’s ministry or not, to know a leader in our faith was the worst kind of man possible is devastating. He appeared on the world stage, representing Christ—or so we thought—for us all. He defended our faith before world leaders, and we rejoiced.

Now, we mourn. We weep. We cry out in real pain—we have been betrayed! We trusted him. We shared his videos, bought his books, and gave to his ministry. We thought he was not only a man of God’s Word, but a man of his word! Instead, we have learned he was a master charlatan. He was an actor. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing—a monster! He denied his actions, and falsely accused his victims, even bringing a false defamation lawsuit against one. We know he was still receiving images from his victims at least up until February of 2020, three months before his death. So, there is no appearance, nor evidence, of contrition. One may only hope that before he breezed his last repented and confessed his sentence Period

We must pause from our own pain, though, and remember the women he victimized in person: his wife, his daughters, and the countless women he used for his personal gratification. I will not enumerate these evil deeds—at least those we know of—because the report submitted by Miller & Martin, the law firm RZIM hired to investigate the allegations, does an adequate job. However, I will tell you that his actions were all for his own pleasure, and there was no price he would not pay. Only God knows how many ministry dollars he used to satisfy his longings. He had a charitable fund established expressly for this purpose! Without accountability, he could spend this money on anyone he chose. What this fund did not cover, he would submit as an expense. The ministry paid for everything.

Let me be clear about something: Ravi was not a man with uncontrollable urges, an addict, for example. No. He was a predator. He was a planner. He picked his victims fully knowing that it would take time to gain their trust, win their hearts, and manipulate their will.

One perfect illustration of this is a series of photos found on one of his phones. They cover an 18-month-long period of time, starting with a photo of himself with the young woman in a hotel lobby. One can easily imagine this young lady feeling so proud to have her picture taken with a the great Ravi Zacharias. Over time, the woman sends him pictures that graphically illustrate his abuse. First she sends him ordinary selfies, but as the months pass she acquiesced to his demands and the photos became increasingly suggestive and immodest, concluding with a pornographic video of herself.

This is not just sexual sin, dear friends. This is not a lapse of judgment. This man is the Jeffrey Epstein of Christian apologists! Who knew that sentence could ever be written? This is inconceivable, yet, the evidence is plain to see. He was intentional. This was malice aforethought. The report proves that.

Personally, I will be processing this for a long time. There are many things here that need to be considered—not the least of which is why didn’t his wife stop him? As the wife of a husband in the ministry (a husband who is a former sex addict, for the record), the only way I can believe his wife did not stop him is because she misunderstood her role as her husband’s helpmeet. That’s very possible. And, honestly, I would rather believe she was a victim of false teaching, then believe that she knew and did not stop him.

However, people within the ministry did know something was going on, and they did not stop him. In fact, some defended and excused him. Those who dared to speak up were ostracized, or “sent to Siberia,” as one described it. They would be met with his wrath. People have asked what should happen to the ministry, and I say any conversation about RZIM continuing should end quickly. They failed to hold themselves accountable, And that resulted in countless acts of wickedness—some even committed in the name of Jesus!

And, what of the many, many other ministers with whom he was in a relationship? Did none of them discern that something was wrong with their “brother”? We do not know when this behavior began, but we do know it was going on for at least the last 16 years of his life. That is a very long time. Their silence leaves me very troubled.

You know, I only learned of this report about 24 hours ago. Earlier on Monday, I was having a conversation with one of my sisters. We were talking about the wickedness in our government, and I told her that I believed we would be seeing things uncovered in the church next. I said that we have always seen ministers called out for immoral behavior, but that I believed there would be larger things revealed, perhaps within denominations or organizations. You cannot imagine my horror, when my husband notified me of this report only a few hours after that conversation with my sister. Who will be next?

What have we become, friends? I am so disgusted by this fraud of a man of God, but I am more concerned about my own life. I am more concerned about what wood, hay, and stubble I am carting with me to heaven. Am I living an authentic, Christian life? Will I have any precious gems to lay at my Savior’s feet? Will I have any holy treasure to present my King? Will my life have been worthy of the cost He paid? This, for me, is how I begin to process the wickedness that this man left us as his inheritance. If nothing else, let us all examine ourselves. One day, we will all stand before God. This is a good day to examine our lives and our choices.

With much love for you, because still, somehow, Jesus loves me, too. ❤