The Saxophone Player

Singing in the Snow

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I walked into my bedroom  yesterday and was surprised to hear someone singing in the distance. I opened the window and captured a bit of it. I was kind of amazed.

Then, last night, I learned the rest of the story. He told me how hard it had been to shovel the snow, because it was so wet and heavy. He said, “I only got through it, because I started to sing.”

Next time you’re facing a task that feels too hard to finish, try singing to the Lord. It worked for him! ❤

P.S. Poor guy had even more snow to shovel today. Winter is here!

It’s Not the Doing

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How are you today?

My day started well enough, but as the minutes ticked by I began to feel pretty stressed-out. The thing that sent me over the top was the Saxophone Player’s text asking if I’d like to go to breakfast. Suddenly, my stress shot through the roof.

Well, that’s just not right! Going to breakfast with my husband should not make me stressed, but I was trying to order my day and that was not something I was making time for today. I knew this was wrong, though, so I stopped everything and turned my focus to the Lord.  If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned that an absence of peace is proof that I’ve been absent from His presence. No matter how much I might be doing for Him, it’s not the doing that brings peace. It’s the being.

So, I set my mind on Him. I turned on the next sermon on my YouTube playlist. When the sermon was over, I turned on my favorite Pandora channel. Since my hands like to be busy, I made a scripture graphic with one of my favorite peony photos—a gift from God.

I didn’t have “time” for any of these luxuries today, but nothing on my scary, monstrous list of things I need to do—and things I’ve failed to do—matters as much as having the peace of God reigning in my heart. I’m no use to the Lord, if I’m sweating and straining to make things happen. Finishing everything on that list won’t bring me God’s peace. Having everything put away on my “desk” might bring a sense of accomplishment, but it cannot bring God’s peace. Only deciding to make time to be in His presence will restore my soul to a right place of resting in Him. And, that’s all I want. I accepted a long time ago that I’m a total failure as a human, but I don’t want to be a failure as a child of God. I don’t want to fail to love Him and glorify Him. He keeps my hands busy, but He does that for my sake. For His sake, He asks me to just sit with Him and know Him and rest.

He asks us all the same thing. My friend, if the pressures of the day are growing, choking your peace and joy in the Lord, I hope you will stop and sit with Him. Just leave all that there is to do, all that is pressing on you, and just be with Him. We delight in doing, but He delights in us, and in our just being with Him.

Isa263 meme

God bless you today. I pray “His peace that passes understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 4:7).

Now, I am off to a late breakfast date with my patient husband. ❤

*I felt inspired to change the pronouns. I hope no one is offended.

Sunday Worship

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This song soothes my spiritual aches and pains. No matter the cares and burdens I may have carried in with me, this song gently leads me into a place of worship. When I am worshiping Jesus, there is nothing else that matters in the world.

“Worshipping at the piano one day, this song started with the first stanza. The other two stanzas were at it shortly there after. There are times when I sing this that I feel the Lord is so near. It is a very intimate declaration of Christ’s Lordship over my life.” (Doug Gregan)

“Jesus Is My Lord”
Words & Music by Doug Gregan
© LAMP Songs
Vocals and Keyboard, Doug Gregan

Jesus: Great Redeemer, Savior, and Friend.

*These songs are meant to be sung in congregations. They are registered with CCLI, however, we offer them to the Body of Christ free of charge—for the sake of congregations that cannot afford a CCLI license or SongSelect membership. So, if you hear a song you would like to share with your church, let us know. We will email you the lead sheet, guitar tabs, lyric sheet, and/or overhead master*. No charge. The performance of the song may never be sold (even as part of a fundraiser), but anyone may use them freely to the glory of God. (*If you lack printing capabilities, we will mail them to you.)

Sunday Worship

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We recorded this in 2002. It is a demo we had to make for technical and copyright purposes. The quality on this particular recording is pretty good, but they aren’t all.

All together, there are 28 songs. The songs are registered with CCLI, however, we offer them to the Body of Christ ourselves—for the sake of congregations that cannot afford a CCLI license or SongSelect membership. So, if you hear a song you would like to share with your church, let us know. We can email you the lead sheet, guitar tabs, lyric sheet, and/or overhead master*. No charge. (That’s why we became a publishing company.) So long as the song or the performance of the song is never sold (even as part of a fundraiser), anyone may use it freely to the glory of God.

We used to have all of this on a website, but the web host suddenly called it quits. We are slowly working to build a new website, but in the meanwhile we will share them via social media. Feel free to share them, too.

Doug has been writing a little bit about the genesis of each song, and this is what he wrote about “You Chose Me.”

“Of all the songs the Lord has blessed me with, this one is the most powerful and complete for me. From the music to the lyrics, the song was penned by the Lord. It began with an email from Caroline, who shared a wonderful truth that the Lord had revealed to her. The truth was that despite everything in our daily life, regardless of success or failure, Jesus’ love for us never stops and He chooses us with the same deep love and compassion He had for us when He went to Calvary. When I read her email, the idea that He chooses me blossomed immediately into this song. In just over an hour it was essentially finished. I pray that it would minister to you the repentance and peace that I believe the Lord intended.”

 I will add that I knew what I was sending him was going to become a song. It’s the only time the Holy Spirit has used me as a “collaborator” in his songwriting. 

“You Chose Me”
Words by Doug Gregan
Music by Doug Gregan
Vocals and Keyboard, Doug Gregan

Christ the Lord is risen today!

 

*If you don’t have printing capabilities, we will mail them to you.

Saturday Evening Post, 4/6/19

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It’s an early Spring for us here in New England, and today was a beautiful day. The whole week, really, has been lovely. I am still hoping for one more snow day, but I’m also thinking about how much I want to get into the garden. Our schedule tempts us not to garden at all, but Lucy loves it. I mentioned planting pumpkins, and she got so excited. Hopefully, this week we can get some seeds in the ground.

We celebrated a birthday recently. Lucy is the officially candle blowing assistant.

 

We discovered a new toy. Have you heard of water beads? They’re a fun sensory toy I discovered online. I was able to get Lucy some a few weeks ago. They make for an inexpensive activity that she finds very soothing. They’re very Montessori, offering lots of opportunity to pour and scoop and sort. There are endless applications. We’re just starting.

2019-03-21 14.30.53

 

The kids bought some playground equipment for the babies last week, and they’ve been a big hit. Isaac is still learning to go down the slide—he’s so funny. It was a very windy day, and that’s what you hear Lucy saying, “It’s so windy!”

 

Doug raked some leaf piles this week, and Lucy discovered the joy of frolicking in them.

FlyingInTheLeaves

 

Lucy is tall enough now to stand on a step stool at the sink, and it’s become one of her favorite things. She is exploring what makes a good drinking vessel.  She’s also acquired an apron of her own.

 

I managed to capture Isaac’s infectious laugh on his birthday a few weeks ago. He’s such a charmer.

 

Time with our grandbabies is like oxygen for us. Doug’s new schedule has limited his time with them, but we’re working on that. First things first.

❤

Starting the New Year

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If working hard means getting a good start to the new year, then I think Doug and I have a lot to look forward to in 2019.

We took a working vacation over Christmas and the New Year, which meant we worked at home only, no outside appointments. We stayed up late, and slept as long as possible.

We also hosted an Open House for ministry volunteers, which was a lot of fun.

Doug did throw his back out after Christmas, but I knew it was coming. The week before he had been doing a lot of lifting and moving, and I kept hearing him say, “There’s something funny going on with my back.” I also caught a head cold, but if it stays in my head, it won’t be too bad.

It’s going to be interesting this year, because we are rolling into 2019 with so much already in place. Normally, we spend January seeking the Lord for His course of action, His plan for the ministry. Well, He set the course for us before 2018 ended; we just have to keep doing what we were doing. So, we have a running start. I like it!

You know, I was thinking about the highlights of 2018 the other day. Isaac, our grandson, was definitely a highlight. How God moved in my heart was a highlight. Doug and I arrived at a new place of goodness in our marriage this past year, and that was a highlight.* It was almost like we remembered we were friends. Maybe, working together frustrates friendship. I think it might. And, HopeMail has been a very big highlight, too. I love how that is coming along.

However, my greatest highlight of 2018 is something I wanted to do all year long. I actually did work on it throughout the year, but it wasn’t until just before Christmas that all the pieces fell into place. It may not seem like a big deal, and you will wonder why it took so long, but I managed to finally finish our spare room, making it a place where the grandbabies can hangout and Doug can play his piano.

And, when those two things come together, well, my heart is pretty full.

I am very thankful the Lord did not despair of me in 2018. His kindness overwhelms me. He does love us like a Father, and we know that because He doesn’t love us any less when we’re ornery. It’s almost like He loves us louder, to make sure that in our blindness we don’t lose our way.

* I would feel dishonest if I did not add that I’ve been repeatedly cranky with him the past couple weeks, which is disappointing for me. I’ve had to apologize a lot. I want to blame my thyroid, but I think it’s more likely just ugly sin.

A Guest Blog from TSP

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My husband, aka The Saxophone Player and the Director of New Brothers Fellowship, wrote a short and very good piece on the NBF Blog yesterday. I wanted to share it with you.

Betrayal

by Doug Gregan

There is something incomprehensible to me, as I witness established Christians, with years of faith and knowledge of the scriptures, move away from Jesus Christ as He is declared in the Bible. How powerful and sobering is the spiritual transaction that takes place in John chapter 6, concerning the eating of His flesh and the drinking of His Blood.

“Many therefore of His disciples, when they had heard this, said, ‘This is a hard saying; who can hear it?’ When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples murmured at it, He said unto them, ‘Doth this offend you? What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where He was before? It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not.’ For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray Him.” (John 6:60-64)

Incredible that the betrayal of Christ should be connected to unbelief concerning His Resurrection and Ascension, His Sonship and Kingship.

And, this is exactly what is happening in these days. The hard sayings of Jesus become offensive apart from the personal apprehension and persistence in the Cross. They cause us to stumble.

“From that time many of His disciples went back, and walked no more with Him.” (John 6:66)

They walk with Him no more, but they remember His name, they remember His works, His compassion, His kindness, His love, His social justice principles, His philosophical depth.

It is here that the Flesh fashions another Jesus; a Jesus without a Cross, who challenges no one and meets us at our own understanding of truth.

No need to deny myself, to come apart from the spirit of the world, to submit to the authority of God or His Word outside of the parameters I find acceptable. The words of Jesus are mine to pick through and interpret according to my comfort level.

This is betrayal. This causes others to stumble.

I pray for the Holy Spirit to quicken the Words of Christ, again, to those who are offended and have created Christ in their image. May mercy bring us back to the glorious liberty of the Cross and dying to ourselves, that His resurrection life may flow through us again.

The words of Psalm 50 come to mind:

“These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I was one like yourself. But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you. ‘Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!'” (Psalm 50:21-23, ESV)

”Who’s Ready?”

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The Pastor concluded his sermon with a question:

“So, who’s ready to follow Jesus onto the mission field today?”

He was only half-serious. He knew his congregation well enough—a smallish group of young families and retired couples. These were good folks who loved Jesus, but to imagine any of them even receiving a call to the foreign mission field, much less answering it, could probably put a strain on even his faith. He was just trying to make a point.

And, his congregation responded just as he expected. They laughed and looked at each other, nodding their heads at one another as if to say, “Our pastor’s so funny!”

Then, at the rear of the sanctuary there was a sudden movement. A voice rang out: “Me! I’m ready to go!”

The congregation turned their heads. Her husband was standing in the aisle. She looked up at him in stunned silence, as both of his hands were raised high above his head. What is he doing? He was dead serious.

She felt herself sinking lower into the pew, as the entire congregation looked their way. There were a few Amens, and some good-hearted laughter. They might not be taking him seriously, but they did admire his zeal. The Pastor acknowledged his enthusiasm and issued an appropriately affirming statement, but then pressed on with the service.

She quickly forgot about her husband’s impetuous response to the Pastor’s appeal that day. Why, between his health issues and mine, we wouldn’t last a week on a foreign mission field!

It was the summer of 2002, and just the beginning.

Newsletter Day

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The ministry newsletter always takes me longer to prepare than I expect it to take.

I mean, always. Even when I am not writing the bulk of the message, like this current newsletter.

So, it’s been a very long day, and a very late night. This will have to be my blog post for the day. Actually, Sunday.

I guess I should share the newsletter with you here: NBF FIELD REPORT

The Saxophone Player and me.

Six Months

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In the winter of Hannah’s 5th grade year, a fellow PTA mom invited me to join a Bible study she attended. I agreed to join her. Our church did not have a women’s Bible study, and I knew my spiritual life was in rough shape. Plus, I felt ashamed to reject her invitation. The Bible study was only once a week, but it was one of the hardest commitments I ever made.

You see, each time I walked into that church, I felt as if I was walking through the hallway naked—heart, mind, and soul exposed. I cannot think of another time in my life I have ever felt so uncomfortable. You would think I’d have recognized this as the Holy Spirit’s conviction, an evidence of my sinful heart, but I was deeply deceived. I had fully given myself over to vain and selfish pursuits.

It started very sincerely. I had such good motives. We were living in a small town on the New England seacoast, and I loved it there. My little family had a very nice life. There were no private, Christian schools close by, so we enrolled Hannah in the public schools and I became a frequent volunteer.  As a stay-at-home mom, I had the time to give, so I gave many hours to the PTA. I worked hard and that dedication eventually made a place for me in the PTA Mom’s clique. That led to my being asked to become Co-President, and I was delighted. 

I rather enjoyed being a big fish in a little pond, and the little bit of power and influence I yielded felt like a well-deserved reward. I said it was all about the children—especially my own—but I was deceiving myself. The truth was, I was an embittered wife and the PTA was a way I could make things all about me.

While I worked so hard to improve the school for everyone else’s children, my own daughter was neglected. How many nights did I leave her and Doug at home, because I had an important meeting to attend? How many vacation days did Doug spend on PTA work days? I hate to think how much money and how many hours I spent. There was just enough “success” from one month to the next to keep me thinking it was all worth it.

Then, something happened. Something very unexpected.

It was in April of Hannah’s 5th-grade year. I was sitting in a circle with the other ladies in that Bible study, Bibles and folders on our lap, when the leader asked a question that hadn’t been in our study notes. She asked us to just say the first thing that came to mind, without analyzing the question or our answer.

Now, before I share her question, I want to ask you to do the same. Don’t think; don’t analyze. Just say the first thing that comes to mind.

Her question was:

“What would you do, if you knew for sure that Jesus Christ was coming (the Rapture of the church) in six months?”

Even today, seventeen-and-a-half years later, thinking about that moment makes me emotional. I remember it so clearly. This was my answer: 

“I would support my husband’s ministry.”

What? 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing myself say. Didn’t I already support him? Hadn’t I encouraged him in everything he did for the Lord? It’s not as tough he was called to full-time ministry. How much support did he need?

I hate to say this, but I just didn’t get it. I prayed a prayer of some description before the Bible study finished, committing myself to at least meditating on what this meant, but my prayer was a lot of blah, blah, blah. I went home and went back to work, with the PTA still my priority.  In fact, our biggest events of the year were still coming up.

By June, the Bible study had ended for the summer, and Hannah would soon be promoted to the junior high. PTA elections were held, and I was asked to continue my work. The vote was unanimous, and I made sure there would be no more co- in my title. Why did we need two co-presidents, when I did all the work? Honestly, if I had asked to be called the Queen of the PTA, they would have probably agreed, because I had elevated the PTA. People kept telling me it had been the best year anyone could recall—the most events, the most funds raised, the most accomplishments. The Superintendent and School Board respected me. Teachers appreciated me. Principals feared me. Parents depended on me. 

And, then something happened. Something very unexpected.

I woke up on a lovely, warm and sunny day, and couldn’t speak. I could barely swallow. I went to bed perfectly well, there had been no signs of illness. Yet, I woke-up sicker than I could remember ever being. The doctor said it was an “extreme case” of strep throat. No one else in my circle had strep, or even knew someone with it. Nonetheless, there I was, sick as a dog. It was time for the final event of the year, an event I’d been planning for and looking forward to for over a year, the biggest production of the year, and something no one else had even done there: a Volunteer Appreciation Banquet. Everything was coming together beautifully. I’d made all of the thank you gifts. Food had been arranged. Beautiful invitations were designed by yours truly, and mailed in envelopes I’d addressed myself. The big event was just days away, but I was completely derailed.

I don’t know why*, but knew God had something to do with what was happening. For almost two weeks, I sat in bed silent. I couldn’t even whisper. I had to turn all the plans for my big event over to my co-president. She’d call with questions, and I’d write the answers down for Doug to tell her for me. I couldn’t believe what was happening. The grand finale of my year, and I wouldn’t even be able to attend. I wasn’t going to get my victory lap. 

But, during that silence, God finally got me to stop and listen. And, He spoke one simple thing to me.

“Come home.”

Despite my sinful heart, I did fear God. I knew not to disobey a direct order. The instruction was simple, but I knew what it meant.

Once my voice returned (almost the day after the banquet), I resigned from the PTA. I was actually very thankful to make my exit, and never missed it.

Homeschooling was also an very easy transition to make. We were committed to keeping Hannah connected to her school friends, and she seemed excited about the prospect of being an independent learner.

Supporting my husband’s ministry was the one thing I wasn’t sure how to do, but within a week’s time I would learn that the struggle he’d confessed after our tenth anniversary debacle had not been overcome. In fact, I began to see that Satan was aiming for his heart, trying to take away not just his victory, but his very life. My husband needed me, and I was going to begin learning how to pray for him and love him through the spiritual battle that was waiting right around the corner.

*Actually, I do know why, now that I have written this: it was the peace I felt about it all. I wasn’t angry or fretting. I was resigned in my heart. I knew I had brought this upon myself, because I had not been heeding the Holy Spirit all winter and spring, as He had tried to get me to see my sinfulness and selfishness. I was walking in rebellion, but His mercy stopped me in my tracks. Thank You, Jesus!