Christian living

The Hard Work of Being a Christian Wife

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(I wrote this a long time ago, but never published it. Why? Well, that’s for another blog post. In any case, I’m publishing it today. And, I am publishing it without editing or second-guessing or yielding to my insecurities. So, typos and all, here it is for now. Maybe, one day I’ll come back and edit it and make it better.)

I sat down with a woman years ago. She had discovered that her husband was visiting prostitutes. She knew he had returned to drinking, but it was the prostitutes that had brought her to the point that she finally reached out for help.

That’s pretty typical. Wives will put up with a lot of bad behavior, even helping keep their husband’s secret sin a secret, until finally their husband just goes too far. Things get out of hand. “It was one thing when he would do XYZ, but now he’s not doing ABC and I think he might be doing LMNOP. I don’t know what’s going on. I just can’t take it anymore.“

Why Did She Take It At All?

So, back to my question: why do women put up with their husband’s bad behavior at all? Well, what I have heard from wives over and over is that they believe their only option is to endure: don’t complain, submit, hold your tongue. If they do a good enough job of suffering in silence, God will finally award them with a godly husband by whatever means necessary, including divorce. Mind you, they don’t know that’s what they believe; they would never confess that with their mouth. Yet, it’s true: too many women are believing that God is going to honor their passivity. God couldn’t possibly be expecting them to do something about their husband’s error or wrong inclinations. They believe thy just have to keep praying for God to help them endure.

That’s the first mistake Christian wives make. I don’t fault them, though. Most Christian women have not been spiritually equipped for marriage. I don’t know if that’s because it takes a lot of work to teach spiritual truths, or if it’s because – well, no. That’s why. Discipling humans is hard work, and churches just aren’t doing it. If a woman isn’t blessed to have a Titus 2 Woman in her life, she’s in trouble. Satan will be sure her ears are filled with every manner of secular humanist thought out there, counseling her right out of her marriage and her faith.

Is there a place for long-suffering? Absolutely! This is a fruit of the Holy Spirit’s work in our life. Just remember that long-suffering is patience, which in this scenario I think we can define as an evidence of our faith in God’s unfinished work. It is a spiritual condition. Instead of walking in patient faith in God, though, wives are white-knuckling their way through a little bit of Hell on Earth.

This is what I think happens to the godly wife full of every good intention towards her husband, whose faith is being worn down with his every transgression: she begins to tolerate his sin. Tolerance is easily mistaken for patience, aka long-suffering. We tolerate his coming home late; we tolerate his ignoring calls or texts; we tolerate his temper or offensive language. We tolerate his making place for boozing and using. We tolerate his unloving attitudes and behaviors. We tolerate his not attending family gatherings, or his skipping church, or his not serving God. Then, before we know it, sin has taken root and established itself in our husband’s life, and consequently in our marriage and family.

What’s A Christian Wife To Do?

Knowing your Christian husband is making wrong choices and not holding him accountable to the Word of God for those choices is the wrong kind of silence. That is not iron sharpening iron. That is not Galatians 6:2. It might make life easier for you in the moment, but in the long run that little transgression (it was just one drink, it was just one look, it was just one time, etc.) will lead him to the brink of spiritual death and your marriage and family to utter destruction.

For the record: a man who confesses Christ is Lord is a Christian. You should not be making allowances for any of the baggage (spiritual, emotional, or otherwise) that he brings with him to your marriage – or picks up after his, “I do.” There is no excuse for sin. Trauma or temperament or lifelong habits may be the cause of his struggle, but they are not to be accepted as a permission slip for sin. Unrepentant sin should have no place in a Christian’s life.

DON’T WRITE THE END OF HIS STORY

Yes, men have free will and they can choose to reject exhortation, accountability, or correction. However, we must not decide the end of his story. Who are we to determine God is done with him?

NO. As long as there is breath, there is hope. So, he’s rebellious to truth. Okay. That’s very bad! However, as a wife we still have a spiritual influence in our husband’s life. We exercise that influence in the spirit, through prayer and standing in the gap. We commit to intercede for him, because that’s what be a godly wife means. Through our tears, we call out to the Father for mercy. In our heartache, we believe by faith every promise of deliverance the Word has given. We cast off fear in the name of Jesus, and put on a garment of praise.

Thank God for God. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and His kind and loving ministry to our broken hearts. Thank God for tiny mustard-size seeds of faith that cannot be denied. Thank God for prophetic words received over the years, but never understood until that moment when we needed them, when the Holy Spirit suddenly opens our eyes to see that not only was He calling us to a deeper faith and great intimacy with Him, but that He had gone ahead, before we ever knew we would marry this man, and had made provision for the loving support and godly friendship we would need in this hard place. Just look around. Reach out to them.

For me, I didn’t think I could possibly take one more emotional hit, yet here was the Holy Spirit teaching me that in my place of greatest pain, it was still not about me. My marriage wasn’t about having a good husband, but about being a good wife. When it was the hardest, if I would yield my will to God’s and allow the Holy Spirit to use me as my husband’s help meet (a spiritual calling on every wife, FYI), He would meet me in that place and give me all I needed.

A Final Exhortations

Make your requests known to God. Think on those things that glorify God. Have faith for the unbelievable and impossible. Being a biblical wife to a spiritually high maintenance man is very hard. At times you feel crushed under the weight of that calling—and, I am convinced it is a calling. The unrepentant husband will tax you heavily, but remember that your prayers for him are for God to be Master, Lord, and Savior. He is willful and continue to reject the truth, but God is on your side. Make your requests known. Stop him, God! Convict him, Holy Spirit! Have mercy on him! Forgive him! Spare him! Save him!

Don’t stop praying. Ask the Holy Spirit how to pray for him! Pray in the Spirit over him. Reject whatsoever things are unlovely and untrue. Banish the lies of Satan from your mind and remember that Fear is a wicked spirit.

Read Philippians 4.

Forgive him. Again. And, again. There is so much spiritual power in forgiveness!

Love him. Be the hands of Christ whenever you touch him. Bless him that curses you. Do good to those that despitefully use you.

Speak truth out loud, because faith comes by hearing—you’re talking to yourself!

If you need prayer, but have no one else to go to, I will pray for you.

Remember, the Holy Spirit is your Comfort and your Help. Depend on Him. He will be there for you. When I had no one to confide in, no one who still had faith or hope for my husband, the Holy Spirit was there. Bless the Lord!

❤️

One Year

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I pulled an all-nighter,

listening to IHOP-KC,

when I received a notification.

The BBC.

I stopped to check it.

Israel invaded.

Israel invaded?

Suddenly, everything changed.

The atmosphere was different.

I felt it in my spirit.

Time would be measured

Differently

Now.

What really mattered changed forever.

What was I reading,

seeing,

hearing?

It took me time to process

what I was seeing…

live footage from the invaders.

The captors.

The demons.

How could they do this?

Where was the IDF?

How did they get in?

Her face!

Noa’s face.

I watched her abduction

over and over.

How were they getting

away with this?

So many questions.

Yet,

in this year

we have seen

the miraculous

hand of God

intervene

again and again.

Incredible.

Impossible.

But, God.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

🕊️

It’s Not About Abortion

/ SaxophoneWife / 2 Comments

It’s not about pedophiles.

It’s not about human trafficking.

It’s not about borders.

It’s not about the evil virus.

It’s not about the Supreme Court.

It’s not about healthcare.

It’s not about climate change.

It’s not about school choice.

It’s not about globalism.

It’s not about the deep state.

It’s not about the swamp.

It’s not about Russia, China, or Ukraine.

It’s not about Obamas, Clintons, or Bidens.

It’s not even about the economy.

In the end, this election is about one thing, and one thing only: Israel. While all these issues matter—and more besides—there is only one issue that comes with a promise from God to either bless or curse our nation. That “issue” is Israel. Our country’s support for Israel has distinguished our young nation from every other nation on the earth.

“I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” Genesis 12:3 (NKJV)

“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.” Psalm 122:6 (NKJV)

“And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’” Matthew 25:40 (NKJV)

Only one candidate will continue to make the peace of Jerusalem a priority. Only one candidate loves the Jewish nation. Only one candidate is called by Jews “the best friend Israel has ever had.” That man will get my vote, because as much as it all matters, Israel is what it’s really all about for me. ❤️

P.S. Here is a very engaging and relevant teaching from Amir Tsarfati.

The Other Virus

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I think this pandemic is the most insidious thing anyone alive today has experienced.

Almost 200 countries have been invaded by an unknown and deadly enemy whose only objective seems to be to infect as many people as possible. It propels itself through the airwaves, where it can be inhaled by any unsuspecting passerby. The remaining droplets fall and settle, unseen and undying, lingering for many hours or several days—surface matters.

Then, once landed or inhaled, it is secretly transported from one victim to another. And, another. And, another.

On, and on, and on it travels, disguising itself as a common cold, or it simply remains hidden. Out of site. Undetectable.  An otherwise perfectly healthy person has no idea they are carrying a time bomb, until it pulls its trigger. Within hours, its victim might be near death.

And, after a death as agonizing as one dares to imagine, it continues to multiply, feeding off its dead host.

If there has ever been any illness or disease with a character more like Satan, I haven’t heard of it. All disease is evil, and a result of evil, but no other disease is as insidious as this virus.

IS ANYTHING WORSE?

There is something worse. It is a sin that works in the heart, mind, and spirit, bringing nothing but death, if allowed to go unchecked.

It is like a spiritual virus, a sin far more dangerous than lust, greed, or hate.

It is spiritually insidious.

It invades our spirit, soul, and body, a deadly enemy whose only objective is our death.

It propels itself through the airwaves, Satan’s domain. It travels on the heels of the unknowing, through innocent words or deeds. The unsuspecting and unperceptive are easily caught in its trap, and quickly absorb its poison. It can affect anyone, of any demographic, potentially lingering forever in the willing.

On, and on, and on it travels, disguising itself as a knowledge or maturity, or it simply remains hidden. Out of site. Undetectable. Indiscernible. An otherwise spiritually sound person has no idea they are carrying a time bomb, until it pulls its trigger. Within hours, its victim might be near spiritual death.

And, after a spiritual death as agonizing as one dares to imagine, it continues to multiply, feeding off its dead host.

THERE IS NO CURE

It’s hard to accept, but there is no cure for this sin-virus. It’s hapless victims can only prepare for death.

A daily death.

Daily denying the flesh; dying to self; and finding new life in Christ. That is, life everlasting.

That is the only treatment. The only hope for Pride’s victim. Not a cure, but a daily application of the identity of Christ: a daily choice to live in Him. 

❤

3/22/20

Sunday Worship: From the Epicenter of the Novel Coronavirus

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Originally published by ChinaSource.

A Letter from a Wuhan Pastor

Brothers and sisters, peace be upon you:

During these past days the Wuhan pneumonia [virus] has been at the center of my thoughts and life. [I am] always watching the latest news, and always thinking about how our family and the church should face this.

As for family, I have gathered masks and foodstuffs and have ventured out of doors as little as possible. When venturing out in public I have worn a mask, but as for the rest, I have placed it in the Lord’s hands.

As for the church, the safety of the congregation, a faithful witness, the possibility that members could contract the illness, have all become a great area of struggle. It is readily apparent that we are facing a test of our faith.

The situation is so critical, yet [we are] trusting in the Lord’s promises, that his thoughts toward us are of peace, and not evil (Jeremiah. 29:11), and that he allows for a time of testing, not to destroy us, but to establish us. Therefore, Christians are not only to suffer with the people of this city, but we have a responsibility to pray for those in this city who are fearful, and to bring to them the peace of Christ.

First, we are to seek the peace of Christ to reign in their hearts (Hebrews 3:15). Christ has already given us his peace, but his peace is not to remove us from disaster and death, but rather to have peace in the midst of disaster and death, because Christ has already overcome these things (John 14:27, 16:33). Otherwise we have not believed in the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:15), and, with the world, would be terrified of pestilence, and lose hope in the face of death.

Why do only Christians have this peace? Because of sin, humans deserve the trials and tribulations that come upon them, Jehovah says: the wicked have no peace (Isaiah 48:22). We were all sinners, but Christ, because of faith, took our penalty and gave us his peace. Therefore Paul says, who can bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. (Romans 8:33). Christians may with the world face the same tribulations, but such tribulations are no longer punishment, but a new opportunity to grow nearer to the Almighty, to purify our souls, and an opportunity to proclaim the gospel.

In other words, when disaster strikes us, it is but a form of God’s love. And, as Paul firmly believed, “who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger or sword? . . .  in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Roman. 8:35-39).

Spoken for today, Wuhan’s pestilence cannot separate us from the love of Christ; this love is in our Lord Jesus Christ. These words are so comforting for us, we have already become one body with Christ. We have a part in his sufferings, and we have a part in his glory, all of Christ’s is ours, and our all is Christ’s. Therefore, Christ is with us as we face the pestilence in this city; the pestilence cannot harm us. If we die in the pestilence, it is an opportunity to witness to Christ, and even more to enter into his glory.

Thus, my brothers and sisters, I encourage you to be strong in Christ’s love. If we more deeply experience death in this pestilence, understanding the gospel, we may more deeply experience Christ’s love, and grow ever nearer to God. Our Lord Jesus through faith experienced an incomparable suffering of death, yet God raised him from the dead, and sat him at his right hand.  (Acts 2:32-36)

If in reading these truths you still have no peace, I encourage you to diligently read the above cited scripture and call on the Lord to give you insight until the peace of Christ reigns in your heart. You must know, that this is not just an observable disaster, but even more it is a spiritual struggle. You should first wage a battle for your heart, and secondarily battle for the soul of this city.

We earnestly hope that you would know that not a sparrow falls without the will of the Father (Matthew 10:29). With so many souls facing pestilence, can it be outside God’s will? All that we are experiencing, is it not like Abraham facing Sodom, and Jonah facing Nineveh?

If God, because of a righteous man withheld judgment on Sodom, or because of 120,000 who didn’t know their left hand from their right, withheld destruction, what of the city of Wuhan in which we live?  We are clearly the righteous in this city, far more than a single righteous person there are thousands and thousands of us. Yet, may we like Lot be grieved over all those in this city (1 Peter 2:7), and like Abraham who earnestly prayed for Sodom (Genesis 18:23-33). You see, Jonah with difficulty proclaimed the gospel to Nineveh, and Nineveh repented and was saved. We are this city’s Abraham and Jonah. We must pray for God’s mercy upon this city, and bring peace upon this city through our prayers and testimony.

“I believe this is the command of God calling those of us living in Wuhan. We are to seek peace for this city, seek peace for those who are afflicted with this illness, seek peace for the medical personnel struggling on the front lines, seek peace for every government official at every level, seek peace for all the people of Wuhan!”

I believe this is the command of God calling those of us living in Wuhan. We are to seek peace for this city, seek peace for those who are afflicted with this illness, seek peace for the medical personnel struggling on the front lines, seek peace for every government official at every level, seek peace for all the people of Wuhan! And we can through online networks guide and comfort our friends and loved ones with the gospel, reminding them that our lives are not in our own hands, and to entrust their lives to God who is faithful and true.

The past few days I have received many inquiries from foreign pastors. They and the whole church are concerned for this city, even more for us; and confronting this epidemic, seek to serve the city with us.

Thus, I especially ask them to turn their eyes upon Jesus. And do not be concerned with my welfare, nor be agitated or fearful, but pray in the name of Jesus. Good hearted people are through their actions serving this city, especially the medical personnel who are risking their own lives. If they can take on such worldly responsibilities, how can we not more readily take on spiritual responsibilities!

If you do not feel a responsibility to pray, ask the Lord for a loving soul, an earnestly prayerful heart; if you are not crying, ask the Lord for tears. Because we surely know that only through the hope of the Lord’s mercy will this city be saved.

A Wuhan Pastor
January 23, 2020

Photo Credits: Featured Photo is by Bruce Hong. Photo in post is by Benjamin Chris. Both are from Unsplash. Thank you to them for the use of their photos.
Map Credit: ChinaHighlights.com

Race to the Finish

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Have we made God into an image that suits us? Have we have brought Him down to our level, and made Him someone we can understand? Someone whose thoughts and ways are like our thoughts and ways?

I don’t think we aren’t seeking God, but I think we’re impatient with Him. Instead of being willing to wait for His answer or for His will to manifest, we move forward based only on our assumption that our happiness, good intentions, and/or success matter. Without waiting on Him, we step out in what feels like faith, but is more like wishful thinking. Our ways have become what we call His ways. Whatever seems right to us. We’ve become the judge, which means we have placed our seat on His throne.

Consequently, we fall into compromise. We embrace false doctrine and reject truth outright. We have to, because our lives no longer line-up with His Word. Therefore, we must reinterpret His Word. It’s a dance. We juggle the truth and play games with it. As long as we believe Jesus is Savior, we’re all set. We have given ourselves permission to be as carnal a Christian as we want. Of course, we don’t say that out loud, but our lives are the proof. How we live does not reflect a respect for God, or a fear of the consequences of disobedience.

You see, the god we have created not only receives us as we are, but never require we change. We’ve devised a religion that requires no faith, no consecration, and no death. We haven’t forgotten about righteousness, but we’ve redefined it.

“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” (Romans 13:14)

The God of the Old Testament has not changed, and He never will. He required great things of those Saints of old, yet we expect Him to be satisfied with our measly “sacrifices” today. We give Him our “extra” time. We yawn and watch the clock. We decide how much we serve according to what we’re already doing, not according to how much there is to be done. We give more time to entertainment, than we do to knowing Him. There is more Eastern idolatry on Christian’s Facebook pages, than the Word of God. What’s that about, folks? We feast on witchcraft, violence, perversion, and anti-Christ indoctrination under the the label of entertainment. We laugh at things that should make us jump up and run out of the room. Why do we want to be a part of glorifying that which nailed our Savior to the Cross?

“Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.”
(1 Peter 2:24)

Friends, the days are getting short. Christ is coming soon. That is not an inevitability that we just wait to arrive. I hear some say, “Why think about it? Why preach about it? It’s going to happen anyway.” If that is how we think, we are missing the point. Paul described this Christian life as a race to finish (2 Timothy 4:7). What athlete enters a race unprepared to finish? He doesn’t amble around aimlessly, straying off course and unconcerned about whether or not he reaches the end. He knows that finishing isn’t inevitable, but a byproduct of running the course to its end. Well, Eternity is a deadline we are supposed to prepare for, and daily be working towards achieving. We know we’ll be with Jesus, but are we running the course He set before us? That’s a willful choice we have to make everyday. We can’t run just any race and say it counts.

So, what’s a sincere Believer to do? What we should be doing every day: repenting and asking for the Holy Spirit to help us; reading God’s Word and praying. Simple. Simple obedience. We must stay the course He set before us, and pursue righteousness as we have been called to do—picking ourselves up as many times as needed along the way, staying in fellowship with the Body of Christ, and equipping ourselves daily. An end is coming, sooner than later. Let’s meet at the Finish Line.

God bless you today.
❤