Author: SaxophoneWife

Thoughts on a Thursday

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I shouldn’t be blogging right now, but if I don’t get some words out of me I’m going to explode. So much is happening. Inside me. All around me. There is just so much on my mind. I’ve been promising myself I would blog for weeks, but blogging is a luxury of time I haven’t been able to afford.

Yet, I gotta release the valve. Gotta let a few things out.

  1. Preparing for the 15th Anniversary Celebration for the ministry my husband and I started directing in 2004: New Brothers Fellowship. Memories flood my mind as I look through old newsletters and old pictures. So many people. So may prayer requests. So many answered prayers.
  2. I am baking cookies. A lot of cookies. I haven’t baked a lot of cookies in a long time, but it’s one of my very favorite things to do.
  3. Making curtains for my daughter’s kitchen. Just valances. And, really plain. I don’t do complicated. I only mention it, because I should have made them about a year ago. I hate that it took me so long to even get started. I love to sew, though I have little skill. I wish it was a regular part of my life.
  4. I don’t know why I have eczema now, but I am experiencing first hand the life my husband has lead his entire life. Our skin issues are a little different, but it’s all bad. I don’t feel sorry for us, though. We have skin, and I’m very thankful to have skin.
  5. I see many of Hannah’s peers falling away from Christ and it makes me very angry. I am not mad at them. I am mad at Satan. He laid traps. He crept in under the cover of darkness. He has truly been a wolf, stealing the Master’s sheep. And, I’m not going to stand for it. I’m taking names and I’m praying. The parable of the Prodigal Son is there for a reason. They may all have to sleep with the pigs, before they realize what they have forsaken, but so be it. They will not die there.
  6. The truth is that in MANY CASES it was Christians that hurt these children, now adults. It makes me so mad. Satan is such a liar, thief, and destroyer. We have to face him with utter fearlessness, folks. We need to take back what he has stolen. I’m not saying these backslidden children are without fault. They made a freewill choice to sin. Yet, when a child has not been given truth and taught how to walk in Christ, they are going to have a hard time facing a temptation that promises to comfort their immediate and acute emotional pain and mental distress. If they do not know God, if they do not have spiritual support, what else will they do? I’m not speaking of anyone in particular here, but too many parents have permissively allowed Satan into their homes. They have not set a guard. Too many wives waiting on their husbands to do it, because too many women have not been taught how to be women of God (just a hint: it means more than not denying him physical intimacy). I know people look at Hannah and say, “Well, it’s easy for you to talk.” My kid is amazing, but if you think I wasn’t on guard like a hawk every step of the way, you’re wrong. If you don’t think Satan was at every corner, laying traps and luring her to death, you’re wrong. I never took her innocence or purity or faith for granted. Not for a second. I knew the Devil too well to think she was safe. In fact, it was in the darkest days of our marriage that the Holy Spirit told me to take my eyes off myself and see that the Enemy was really after Hannah. It was all about destroying her. That is true for every child out there, mom and dad. It’s not about you; it’s about them.
  7. I am thinking of posting sermons here that I think some of you might like. I have done it in the past, and have meant to do it regularly, but writing the outlines takes a lot of time. I may just post the message and write the outline later. I know most sermons I share no one listens to except Doug, but it will also be good for me. I will be able to quickly find those messages that have impacted me. The same goes for prophecy updates. I am very picky about which ones I will watch, because there’s a lot out there that’s just stupid and self-serving.
  8. The impeachment stuff is clogging our news, but I urge you to pay attention to the Middle East. It’s what happens there that best indicates where we are on God’s timeline.
  9. As for the impeachment stuff. I don’t think it will go far. It’s so baseless. So stupid. In fact, every American should hope and pray it doesn’t go anywhere, because there is no evidence of an impeachable offense. I am praying that Democrats in the House start to find the courage to speak out against it. It’s a shameful thing to rob anyone of their right to a defense, and their right to be innocent until proven guilty.
  10. Keep looking up, folks. The Rapture really could take place any time. Every prophecy that needs to be fulfilled before the Rapture has been fulfilled.
  11. I am so concerned for Americans who are left behind. They have no idea how severe the judgment of God is going to be on this nation. I don’t mean the Tribulation; I just mean God’s judgment for how we have murdered and abused children. I know this next statement may cause some to think I’m a real freak, but I also doubt anyone will read this, so here it goes: Trump, despite his many past and current sins, has done more to stop the flood of sin against children in our country than any President in U.S. history. I believe his presidency has held back the judgment of God.
  12. I believe our nation has been blessed for Trump’s support of Israel (not that it protects us from judgment). I also think he might be the President who does not send military aid to Israel during the Ezekiel 38-39 war. That has to be the case though, because no one but God can receive the credit for the victory Israel will experience.
  13. I need to go back to work.
  14. Don’t be afraid to obey the Lord, whatever He may be asking of you, calling you to do. Don’t be afraid. If it isn’t His will, He’ll stop you. Just prayerfully and humbly take that first step, then the second.
  15. These are interesting days. I don’t know what God is doing, but something is going on.

❤

Unraveling Life’s Tangled Kite Strings

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The other day. I was trying to repair two kites at the same time—while riding in a car. Admittedly, not a lot of wisdom in that decision, but we were taking our grandbabies to the park and I was trying to fix them before we got there.

Well, I couldn’t be too surprised when their strings got tangled together, but I was frustrated and disappointed in myself. Why did I think I could keep it all straight?

You know, I normally don’t mind a tangle. They’re just a challenging puzzle, a mental break. I like taking the time to focus on that knot and work it out.  I wasn’t enjoying this one, though. Time was not on my side.  This knot was going to spoil my chance to fly kites with the grandbabies. I didn’t want to work this one out; I just wanted to cut it all up and throw it away.

Staring at that tangled mess of string, losing my patience, and wanting to give up on the whole shebang, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “This is where some some people are living right now. Their life feels like a tangled mess, and they don’t know how to figure it out.”

Well, I assure you that I did not expect the Holy Spirit to show up in the middle of my trying to figure out that tangle, but I started to think about what He had said. I started to think about that person. I started to think about what it takes to get out of these messes in real life, and about the compassion the Lord has on us in the midst of them. The devil tells us God is mad and has turned away from us, but that’s just a lie. It may have been our own bad choices that got us into that tangle in the first place, but God isn’t expecting us to fix it ourselves. God isn’t a self-help guru, trying to get us to fix our own problems. He is a loving Father, a good Father, promising to help us in our time of need, and receive us back into His arms, tangled mess and all—if we will just turn back to Him and ask for help.

Remember, the prodigal son? Did he get himself all fixed up nice and clean, life back in order first, before leaving that pig pen? Did he restore the inheritance he’d squandered, and pay back his debtors, before humbling himself and returning to his father’s home? Not at all! Yet, his father received him with open arms and celebration.

This is how God will receive anyone who returns to Him like the prodigal, with a repentant and contrite heart. It is a step of faith with a promised conclusion: forgiveness and restoration.

I did figure out that tangle, once I just slowed down and took it one step at a time. In the end, the last tangle was just one string that had gotten wrapped around itself, and it unraveled with one gentle pull. It wasn’t as bad a mess as I’d thought.

Maybe, your mess isn’t as bad as you think, either. Even if it is, though, I know the Holy Spirit will help you. I promise you, He will not reject you. If you come to Him with a sincere repentance, He will take you step by step through that mess, and put it in order for you. He loves you. He wants to help you. He wants to shower you with His love and forgiveness, just like the prodigal’s father did for him. Please, trust the Lord. Take your mess to Him, and let Him work it out.

Have a blessed Sunday, everyone. ❤

 

 

 

 

Saturday Evening Post, 9/14/19

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October is coming, and I still am wondering if I will try to do a Blog-tober—committing to blog every day. This year has been very busy, so time to blog doesn’t really exist. And, I’m not really sure I have anything to write.

I’m grateful this proverb is in the Bible: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6, KJV)

I’ve written about this before, people who are allergic to us. Sometimes, we just make someone itch and sneeze. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just better to keep a distance.

I accepted an invitation to speak next month. Started praying immediately. I don’t know why anyone would invite me to speak to their ladies, but it must be The Holy Spirit has something for me to share. I will just keep praying. Praying for those dear ladies most of all. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

God gave me a big gift this month. Completely unexpected. The peculiar thing, though, is that receiving this gift is requiring I let go of something. I’ve known I had to let go, but I’ve been avoiding it.*

He’s kind, our God. He meets us where we are, and always brings a surprise.

I hope you are doing well, dear blog reader. It means a great deal to me that you have taken time from your life to read these words. I do not have much to say, as you see, but I needed to make sentences.

God bless you this weekend! ❤

 

*I’m sorry for all the pronouns and for being vague, but it’s a complicated thing to talk about right now—I’d have to explain too much, and use so many words. No one wants that, trust me. After a while, after I’ve processed all the emotions, I’ll probably be able to be succinct and clear.

 

7 Promises: The Believer’s Exciting Future

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I wanted to bring your attention to this message from Dr. Ed Hindson. It is such a clear, orderly outline of what is to come, as Dr. Hindson is a very effective communicator.

The full title is “Seven Things That Are Promised To Us In The Bible For The Believer’s Exciting Future.”

SPEAKER: Dr. Ed Hindson
LOCATION: Calvary Chapel Kaneohe; Kaneohe, Hawaii
DATE: 28 July 2019

OUTLINE
10:30   Teaching Begins
11:46    Promise #1: The Rapture (I Thessalonians 4:13-17)
23:48   Promise #2: The Father’s House (John 14:2-3)
27:30   Promise #3: The Judgment Seat of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:10)
30:30   Promise #4: The Marriage of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-8)
34:15    Promise #5: The Triumphal Return (Revelation 19:11-14)
38:00   Promise #6: The Millennial Reign (Revelation 20:1-6)
53:50    Promise #7: The Eternal City (Revelation 21:1-2)

An Exhortation for My Brothers

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Brother, I know my husband has already given you the best advice, but I want to exhort you in three ways.

First: You Need to Get Busy Serving God 
I know it is probably the one thing you most think you are unfit to do, but it’s the most important thing you start doing NOW. I can’t say it strongly enough. My heart is screaming! Stop giving Satan the win, Brother. God has opened up ministry for you. I know He has called you to serve Him. So long as (this is critical!) you are always under godly, spiritual authority and accountability, walking in repentance, there’s no reason to wait. The waiting is actually playing into Satan’s hands. It’s not good. It’s keeping you in bondage, Brother. Obey God’s call. Did He not know your struggle when He called? He knew. And, He called anyway. Now, obey Him. Until you walk in obedience to your call, you’ll never walk in freedom from your sin. Just remember: under spiritual authority and accountability.

My Next Exhortation is for Husbands
If you are married, stop entertaining the thought of separation or divorce from your wife. In fact, repent for every time you have. Instead, start praying for your wife.

Now, I don’t really mean pray. I mean INTERCEDE. That’s not just saying, “Thank You for my wife, God. Please, bless her today,” but it’s being her spiritual defender. It’s being her spiritual knight in shining armor! It’s fighting against the evil forces that rise up against her. It’s going before the Father on behalf of her every need. It’s praying in the spirit for her, and letting the Holy Spirit pray for her through you.

And, finally, it’s recognizing that even while you are in a battle yourself, you are still her husband and do not want to neglect your call of God to love her as Christ loves the church. It’s an act of obedience, and an act of defiance against the Evil One who hates you, hates her, and hates your marriage.

Plus, she needs your prayer support! She’s in this fight, too, and I know she’s praying for you.

My Last Exhortation is Complicated
This has to do with the brokenness of our lives. That’s a big subject, and I don’t want to try to broach any specifics here. I just need to uncover one of Satan’s biggest lies on the subject.

First, yes, God wants to heal our brokenness. He wants to heal the wounds we have suffered emotionally and psychologically. In fact, He is already healing them. Ephesians 1:6 says He has begun a good work in us.

However, we must guard against the worldly thinking and lie from Hell that tells us that being healed of these wounds is the goal of our Christianity, or a requirement for walking out our freedom in Christ. That is not biblical or godly thinking!

The truth is, some of this healing takes time. It requires a walk of faith, Brother, trusting that the Holy Spirit is walking with us and is going to help us each step of the way. The world’s thinking has really infiltrated the church in this area, and we must be careful how much power we give brokenness. Until we meet Christ face to face, some of us will still be using emotional or psychological crutches, and that’s OK! God is not offended by our dependency on Him. In fact, that’s sometimes the goal of our brokenness, to teach us to rely on Him for the emotional and mental strength we need to get through each day. It’s true for us who have physical limitations, too. God doesn’t always heal all our physical brokenness. That is His sovereign privilege. And, it is our privilege to turn to Him all day every day for the help we need to obey and serve our King.

I think I’ll stop there. I know Doug can elaborate well for you, if you reach out to him. I just want to remind you of 2 Peter 1:3. There is nothing that needs to be added to the work Christ has already done for us.

Brother, I love you as a sister in Christ. Some of you, I love as spiritual sons. You are dear to my heart. That is why I speak the truth to you, even when you do not want to hear it. ❤

“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.”
Ephesian 4:15

Sunday Worship

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I remember my Mother worshiping God. More than I remember anything else about her, I remember that.

When I was just nose-high to the pew, I would look up at her during worship with a mix of respect and curiosity. As she would rise to worship God, something about her changed. There was no warming-up for her, no reluctance. She was never too tired.

At home, she would often pull out her accordion or sit at the piano, and play and sing to the Lord. It was a rare Sunday that I didn’t wake-up to her singing.

As a kid, I didn’t understand where her worship came from, or why she seemed absent from the room, even though she was right there beside me. I didn’t know why she cried sometimes, or how she could know all the words and never need a song book. My Mother wasn’t the finest singer or musician, but she didn’t hold back anything.

My Mother’s worship of the Lord was a wonder to me and a child, and as I grew up watching her week after week, year after year, her example taught me about the character of God. She taught me that worship wasn’t about the song, but about an intimate encounter with God—and, that was entirely up to me. I could choose to enter in or hold back, but to withhold the worship due Him would be my loss.

It’s a rare worship service that I don’t remember my Mother worshiping the Lord. I remember her example, and I remember He is worthy—no matter the song or the pain or the burdens I brought in with me. She never let those things hinder her.

❤

I know I’ve shared this many times, but here’s another!

 

P.S. I love this photo of my Mother’s joyful heart. She was 70 here, on a trip to Kenya. She was invited to preach at a Pastor’s Conference. She had taken a bad fall on the stairs two days before her departure, but went anyway. It was a very hard trip for her physically, but you can see here that she was in her element.

It’s Not the Doing

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How are you today?

My day started well enough, but as the minutes ticked by I began to feel pretty stressed-out. The thing that sent me over the top was the Saxophone Player’s text asking if I’d like to go to breakfast. Suddenly, my stress shot through the roof.

Well, that’s just not right! Going to breakfast with my husband should not make me stressed, but I was trying to order my day and that was not something I was making time for today. I knew this was wrong, though, so I stopped everything and turned my focus to the Lord.  If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned that an absence of peace is proof that I’ve been absent from His presence. No matter how much I might be doing for Him, it’s not the doing that brings peace. It’s the being.

So, I set my mind on Him. I turned on the next sermon on my YouTube playlist. When the sermon was over, I turned on my favorite Pandora channel. Since my hands like to be busy, I made a scripture graphic with one of my favorite peony photos—a gift from God.

I didn’t have “time” for any of these luxuries today, but nothing on my scary, monstrous list of things I need to do—and things I’ve failed to do—matters as much as having the peace of God reigning in my heart. I’m no use to the Lord, if I’m sweating and straining to make things happen. Finishing everything on that list won’t bring me God’s peace. Having everything put away on my “desk” might bring a sense of accomplishment, but it cannot bring God’s peace. Only deciding to make time to be in His presence will restore my soul to a right place of resting in Him. And, that’s all I want. I accepted a long time ago that I’m a total failure as a human, but I don’t want to be a failure as a child of God. I don’t want to fail to love Him and glorify Him. He keeps my hands busy, but He does that for my sake. For His sake, He asks me to just sit with Him and know Him and rest.

He asks us all the same thing. My friend, if the pressures of the day are growing, choking your peace and joy in the Lord, I hope you will stop and sit with Him. Just leave all that there is to do, all that is pressing on you, and just be with Him. We delight in doing, but He delights in us, and in our just being with Him.

Isa263 meme

God bless you today. I pray “His peace that passes understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 4:7).

Now, I am off to a late breakfast date with my patient husband. ❤

*I felt inspired to change the pronouns. I hope no one is offended.

The Devil’s Playbook

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The Devil has a plan. 

For each and every one of us, he has a plan for our demise. Our destruction. He is on a unrelenting mission, you see, to defeat the work of Christ in each of our lives. He could not keep Christ from achieving His victory on the cross, so he turns his focus onto us, and strives to keep us from apprehending that victory in our life. 

This is how the Devil works: he pokes us. 

Sounds too simple, but it works. If we brush it off, he just pokes a little harder. If we brush that off, he’ll poke even harder still. 

He will keep that up, just keep poking away at us, accelerating the frequency and varying the weapon. Maybe, that first poke was a temptation to take just one peek, or just one drink. Maybe, it’s a temptation to take offense, or to take a pass. It really doesn’t matter what it is, but it does matter how we react. 
How we react to that first poke determines his next play.  If we turn and run, he’ll just run after us. The Bible says we have to resist—we have to look the Devil in the eye, stand our ground, and raise our Sword against him.
Consider how Christ responded when Satan poked Him. Three times Satan tempted te Son of God, trying to push Him into sin and away from the cross. Christ knew how to fight. He was armed and ready. He used His Sword, the Word of God, to eviscerate Satan. 

And the devil said unto Him, “If Thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread.”

And Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.”

And the devil, taking Him up into an high mountain, shewed unto Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said unto Him, “All this power will I give Thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine.”

And Jesus answered and said unto him, “Get thee behind Me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.”

And he brought Him to Jerusalem, and set Him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto Him, “If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence: for it is written, He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

And Jesus answering said unto him, “It is said, ‘Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.'”

And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from Him for a season.

And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee.

Luke 4:3-14, KJV

The Word of God is our Sword. An expert swordsmen knows his weapon. He practices using it. We must treat the Word of God the same way. We need to know it, and we need to know how to use it.

That last verse says it all. “Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit.” Christians talk about being beat up by Satan as if it demonstrates how spiritual they are that he would harass them. Satan harasses us all, but instead of limping out of the arena (or the wilderness) we should be walking victoriously, in the power of the Holy Spirit, stronger than when we started. If we will apply God’s Word in faith, that is the testimony we will be able to tell.

A Dumb Movie and Bad Company

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EDIT on 5/9/19 I had my dates wrong.
I’ve been sharing how I came to understand God’s call on my life to be my husband’s help meet. It started with a post in October called Six Months. The second post was My Filthy Rags.  As I was editing the third and last post of this testimony, I was very impressed by the Holy Spirit that there needed to be some context. I don’t know how much context, yet, but we’ll start with this. 

I began to backslide from the Lord when I was seventeen-years-old. Though I was born and raised in a Christian home, I started college very young and began being impacted by the worldly culture around me. I still attended church and prayed and believed, but I was losing sight of Jehovah. It was a slow and unintentional walk away from God, but day by day I was forsaking the truth. 

God doesn’t forget us, though, just because we forget Him. He never loses sight of us, and never stops calling us back to Himself. (Thank You, Lord!)  Even as we question and challenge and reject and rebel, He continues to woo us. It gets harder to hear Him as we clutter our minds with the things of this world, but sometimes God sends people or circumstances to speak for Him. Sometimes, that gets our attention. And, sometimes it takes a dumb movie and bad company.

That’s where I found myself, when I heard the Lord speak to me, again. It was 1987, and a friend was house-sitting. He invited a few of us over to watch a movie and hang-out in a rich man’s apartment. I couldn’t have been more bored, but that’s when I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. I was trying to watch the stupid movie, while my trio of gay buddies gossiped about who knows what. I just wasn’t into it, and that’s when I heard the Lord say:

“I am still the God of Abraham. I have not changed.”

I wish I could have seen my face in that moment. I was so taken aback. What is God doing here?  I remember sitting up straight in my seat and grabbing my notepad from my bag. Sometimes, when the Holy Spirit speaks to us, its just a statement or an instruction. Sometimes, it’s a revelation, or a prophecy—words that are full of deeper meaning. This might have been old news for everyone else, but in that moment in time this was a fresh revelation for me. God was putting me on notice, and He had my attention.

“You think I’m a god who understands your compromise? Well, am not. You think I’m a god who does not require consecration? Well, I am not. I am still the God of Abraham, and what I asked of him I could still ask of you.”

If God hadn’t changed, than I had better change fast.

Sunday Worship

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This song soothes my spiritual aches and pains. No matter the cares and burdens I may have carried in with me, this song gently leads me into a place of worship. When I am worshiping Jesus, there is nothing else that matters in the world.

“Worshipping at the piano one day, this song started with the first stanza. The other two stanzas were at it shortly there after. There are times when I sing this that I feel the Lord is so near. It is a very intimate declaration of Christ’s Lordship over my life.” (Doug Gregan)

“Jesus Is My Lord”
Words & Music by Doug Gregan
© LAMP Songs
Vocals and Keyboard, Doug Gregan

Jesus: Great Redeemer, Savior, and Friend.

*These songs are meant to be sung in congregations. They are registered with CCLI, however, we offer them to the Body of Christ free of charge—for the sake of congregations that cannot afford a CCLI license or SongSelect membership. So, if you hear a song you would like to share with your church, let us know. We will email you the lead sheet, guitar tabs, lyric sheet, and/or overhead master*. No charge. The performance of the song may never be sold (even as part of a fundraiser), but anyone may use them freely to the glory of God. (*If you lack printing capabilities, we will mail them to you.)