Yes, I Have a Blog.

There are times when I just have to stop and blog.

I’m not sure when I started keeping a journal. I always wanted to keep a diary, because all the girls on TV shows kept diaries and every great writer always had one that was published after they died. I didn’t have anything to put in a diary when I was seven-years-old, but I dreamed of being a great writer. So, I made an effort

I usually finished my class work early in junior high, so I would sit at my desk and read or write stories.

In high school, I started writing letters to God. It wasn’t a regular thing, but there were just times when I needed to “talk” to someone. I still write letters to God.

In college, keeping a journal became a regular part of my life. I started college young, so I didn’t feel like I had anything to say to all those “grown-ups.” I was also too young to drive, so I spent a lot of time waiting for and riding on buses. Pulling out my journal and writing was good company. Steno pads and Bic pens were my favorite tools back then, but I’d write on anything.

After getting married and becoming a mother, I rarely wrote in a journal. I still have a prayer journal, but I’m more likely to stick a prayer request on my wall.

In 2006, when Doug was very sick, I dipped my toe into the blogosphere. Blogging was a good distraction during a harrowing season. I rediscovered an old friend.

I long ago stopped dreaming of being a professional writer—somewhere in my 20s. I just do not enjoy the business of writing, and I don’t think anyone is suffering for it. To quote my favorite beagle, “Blech!” No thanks. However, I still love to write. I still feel that need. And, a blog is good company. It’s just not always solitary. Almost any blog is going to get read by someone else eventually.

Well, I didn’t know I’d be writing about journals and blogs and writing, when I sat down with my laptop today. I happen to have my old journals downstairs from the attic, so I took a flip through them and snapped a few photos. Actually, I don’t have all my old journals; and, awhile back I ripped some pages out of the journals I kept. Not every experience or thought is worth remembering. However, I read some things just today that were nice to read, again, My old me surprised the current me. That was neat.

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My Prayer Journals these days. They are scattered around my room. I won’t show others, because some names might be known to readers.

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No idea what happened. I think this in 1986, so I was 20.

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Hahaha!!! It must have been a bad day for me to hate elephants.

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Most of my journal entries are about this dumb. LOL

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A good reason to write down the “dumb” stuff. I never thought about “Doug” again, until we met again over a year later. I’d forgotten all about meeting him in 1986, until I found this journal entry over ten years later.

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Seventeen, and in love with words.

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Be careful what you pray for, they say.

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I was so happy to find entries from during my pregnancy.

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Oh, so in love! This was in 1988, before Doug was born-again.

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I remember this.

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This is when I worked at CUB Foods in Columbus, Ohio. I was 20-years-old. Cashiering was not my favorite job, but I did finally get good enough to work the Express Lane.

One more thought on blogging…it reminds me of testimony time in church, when I was a kid. People would stand up and share whatever had happened to them that week, or whatever was going on in their life. Sometimes, they had a testimony of how God had moved, and sometimes they were asking for prayer for God to move. Not everyone shared, and sometimes it was boring or no one paid much attention, but it was mostly good. Even interesting. You got to learn something about each other, and that’s a very cool thing.

The Gratitude Challenge, Part 2

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)

Today is November 22nd. My challenge is to name 22 reasons I am grateful today. I invite you join me! Post your answers in a comment. My answers are below.  Please, play along!

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”
Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

22 Reasons I am Grateful Today:

1. A friend is facing cancer surgery, and she will be able to have the surgeons she wants.

2. A friend’s son in chemotherapy has had a very excellent report from the doctors.

3. My sisters.

4. Getting eczema this summer.

5. Those people who have an opportunity to do something nice, and take it. For a moment, for just one person, they are like the Angel Gabriel, delivering tidings of great joy that bring hope for one hurting soul. For just a moment, they are like the Angel Michael, striking a blow against the enemy for a battle-weary saint.

6. My mother, for always backing me up in a fight.

7. That I have s place to live and call home.

8. The window over my kitchen sink.

9. Lucy’s curls.

10. The fact that God gave us emotions, and we get to feel all those messy feelings.

11. My joyful grandson, Isaac. His laughter is good medicine.

12. That God uses donkeys for His divine service.

13. God’s Word.

14. That my husband chooses to put away fear, and trust God. Again, and again, and again.

15. Getting to watch my daughter grow-up, and now getting to watch her and Tim grow a family. (As I was writing this exact item, guess who walked in the door? lol)

16. Having a working oven, even though I may not use it today. (Click to read why this is on my list.)

17. That I can say I have been true to my vow, in sickness and in health, and that Doug can say the same.

18. That our upstairs neighbors are so hospitable.

19. My bed and pillows.

20. That God still heals miraculously.

21. Empty storage containers.

22. My son-in-law, for so many reasons.

Happy Thanksgiving Day, friends. God bless you and your whole house!

Lucy at Play

I just love this little video.
I love her little feet, using them to help her keep the keyboard on he lap.
I love that she’s playing with two hands.
I love that she wants to make music.
I love that she owns my living room.
I love that she didn’t make me stop filming her.
I love that box, as ugly as it is, because it’s just what she needed.
I love her curls.
I love her—all 102 weeks of her.

The Gratitude Challenge, Part I

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)

Today is November 9th. My challenge is to name nine reasons I am grateful today. I invite you join me! Post your answers in a comment. My answers are below.  Please, play along!

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”
Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

Nine Reasons I am Grateful Today:

  1. I have a warm place to live.
  2. When I need to rest, I can.
  3. Men are getting their HopeMail.
  4. Christmas is coming.
  5. I have a measure of health.
  6. Tacos.
  7. My husband.
  8. Progress eventually happens.
  9. God – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

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12 Things I Learned When I Got Cancer

A few days ago, I marked the seventh anniversary since a surgeon removed a basketball from my abdomen.

When I was finally able to return to chapel services at the Farm, where Doug was serving as Chaplain, he asked me to share a testimony.  I jotted down a few notes, and this is what came out. Pretty rough and ugly, but maybe what I learned can encourage someone else who may be in the midst of a season of suffering and challenge themselves.

 

Things I Learned When I Got Cancer

Lesson #1: God Gets To Do Whatever He Wants To Do
I really did not think God would allow me to have cancer, because I had too much going on in my life. The Fall is the busiest time for me in the ministry. Plus, there is no cancer history in my family. And, didn’t I have enough to deal with all ready? My family needed me. I did not have time to be in a hospital.

I really did think these very dumb thoughts.

Lesson #2: Just Keep Trusting
A few days after being released from the hospital, my incision opened and I was bleeding profusely. I was in the worst pain, and fear was rising. Doug had to take me to the E.R., and I remember laying there so scared, asking Doug to help me make sense of this. He simply told me, “You just have to keep trusting God.”

When things are so hard, but just keep getting harder, remember to just keep trusting. God’s faithfulness has no end.

Lesson #3: Pain Happens
We cannot prevent pain, but there are things we can do to stop it, or at least ease it. So, do what you can, and hold on tight to a friend’s hand whenever possible. And, remember Lesson #2. It will eventually pass. This applies to physical pain, and emotional pain.

Lesson #4: Do Your Best
You may not have another chance, so do your best right now. And, when it comes to other people, give them your best. It matters. It may matter to someone you’ll never meet, but it definitely matters to God, who put you here to do it in the first place.

Lesson #5: Always Assume The Other Person Is Having A Worse Day
I could cry right now, remembering the way I was cared for at the Yawkey Center for Cancer Care. But, it wasn’t only them. My visiting nurses (Robyn and Karen and Wendy, especially) blessed me in so many ways. I remember the look on the face of my anesthesiologist, the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery—the kindness and assurance in her eyes mattered. Yeah, they all knew I was sick. They had an advantage. But, we don’t have an excuse. We encounter people every day who are facing serious troubles. When I consider how much the kindness, warmth, and gentleness of strangers meant to me, I pray the Lord help me always to extend these same gifts to others. People giving their best made all the difference for me. Refer to Lesson #4.

Lesson #6: God Doesn’t Have To Give You Cancer To Kill You
Don’t wait for a terminal diagnosis to take life seriously. We have all been appointed a day to die, so live every day with meaning now.  Besides, when you get that diagnosis, you may not have the time, or strength, to do those things you keep putting off. And, it feels really bad to think you really might not get another chance. Review Lessons #4 and #7.

Lesson #7: Do It Now
Why are you putting it off? We don’t get credit for our To Do List.

Lesson #8: You Cannot Be Too Polite
See Lessons #4 and #5.

Lesson #9: The Little Things Matter
If you have been paying attention, you’ve all ready learned this lesson. Please, review Lessons #4, #5, #7, and #8.

Lesson #10:  Trials And Suffering Mature Our Love For God, And For Others
Don’t be afraid of trials and suffering. Don’t resist them. Don’t buck against them. One word I learned well during this time in my life was y – i – e – l – d. Yield. Yield to God, even as He takes you down a dark and frightening road. You see, His will only works when He is in full control. We must be fully surrendered. Remember Lessons #1 and #2.

Lesson #11: The Worst Thing That Can Happen Isn’t On This Earth
The worst thing that can happen is not getting to Heaven at all, or arriving in the presence of the Lord without a treasure to present your King. (See Lessons #10, #7, #4, and #2.)

Lesson #12: Don’t Forget What You Learned The Last Time
When the Lord allows suffering, it is for a purpose. He has a reason. An objective. So, write down what you learn. Tell others. And, keep living those lessons out every day. Live it as long as you have breath.

God bless you today. I know cancer has a way of re-entering the life of the survivor, and I keep that in mind as each anniversary approaches. My particular cancer is very slow growing, so if it usually reappears after 10-20 years, and the survival rate on the second pass is a lot less than the first. So, believe me, I review these lessons regularly. ❤

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A sign my family left in my room. It was a touch of cheeriness that meant a lot.

Blog-tober Is Ober

I was inspired to launch Blog-tober for three specific reasons.

  • After several ministry-packed months, in which I had less time than usual to blog, I felt that my blog deserved some attention.
  • As blogging is such a personal activity, and writing is my favorite, it feels pretty selfish. I have trouble making it a priority, because I always feel guilty choosing to write over some other work that somehow profits others. I thought Blog-tober would be a way to give myself permission to not feel guilty about blogging.
  • Giving myself a daily deadline, I suspected, would force me to focus less on perfection, and more on production. It’s very easy to edit a piece to death, especially when you are a very private person writing about things that are very personal.

So, How’d I Do?
I began with a five-day disadvantage, and ended with an eight day deficit. That equates to 23 posts in 31 days, and to that I say, “Not bad!” If I hadn’t gotten sick, I would have done better. I just lose all will to live, when I get a cold. [I know that’s stupid, but it’s true. I think it’s the lack of sleep, or oxygen.]

I’m very satisfied with the results of this challenge. I (almost) never felt guilty about saying, “I’m working on my blog.” I posted some things that have been in the works for so long, but I was just so uncertain they were “good enough.”  They were just sitting in that drafts folder, dying. My take-away on this point is that nothing we do for the Lord is ever “good enough,” compared to what He has done for us. Therefore, we must just humbly give Him our best. He alone will judge the worth of our offering, because only He knows the heart of the giver.

And, having a daily deadline helped a lot.

What Happens Now?
Well, I keep doing what I’m doing. I’ve taken some interest in seeing which posts were the most viewed. It gives me pause, that the post I had the most doubts about posting is the post that garnered the most views. [What was I saying about being a poor judge?]

I know I want to write more on the topic of Being His Help Meet, because each of the seven points needs to filled out a little. They are each deserving of their own post.

Ultimately, I’ll post what I post, because it’s my blog. I write on some heavy topics, because I feel inspired by the Holy Spirit, or convicted. I know that testimony matters, and God has given me one. He means for me to share it. And, my blog is one means by which to do that.

Thanks For Reading.
I’m sorry you have to endure ads. I’m always surprised that anyone bothers to click and read my blah, blah, blah, and it really means a lot to me when you react or comment. One reader shared a post and someone commented on her share. Something had stuck with them that was meaningful to them. That definitely made my day, and blessed me a lot. Like I said, I’m very private. It isn’t easy to share such personal information. However, our testimonies are not meant to be stored in the attic of our memories. They are meant to be shared, or they really aren’t a testimony at all, are they?

I just want to close with the quote that is this blog’s raison d’être :

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Thanks again, friends.

 

 

Favorite Things: Christmas Wrap Organizer

I have had various wrapping paper organizers over the years, but this one is GREAT! It really works for me, and that’s why I’m sharing it. Maybe, it will work for you, too.

I found the suitcase at a second-hand store for a couple bucks. It’s compact, portable, and the hard case doubles as a gift-wrapping table. It’s small, yet still holds everything I need to wrap almost any Christmas gift I might give. Sometimes, I do need a larger gift bag or a long roll of paper, so I keep those in a bin under the bed.

The contents are all accumulated bits from over the years. I layer flat wrap first, than gift bags, than the folders, and finally the short, wrapping paper rolls. I tell ya, I open this case up and it just makes me happy! It’s one of my favorite things. ❤

A Poem: “The Invalid Person”

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I sit here an invalid person, inconsequent; a spare.
I’m sick and malfunctioning, in some ways in disrepair!

The kind man who loves me—none other can compare— 
Is lifting the heavy loads, and protecting me from stairs.

I don’t much like this sickness; for this disease I do not care,
But, my heart is full of thanks for my Saxophone Play’r.

He brings me smiles and covers me in prayer;
For an invalid person, this grace and mercy is quite rare.

Though weary and sick, with ill burdens to bear,
I lift my prayers, too; Fear and Doubt I will forswear.

For, in truth, I know these are but light afflictions to prepare,
When Heavenward we sail to meet our Savior in the air. 

Hard as things sometimes seem, that glad day will be fair,
Today’s suffering forgotten, for no tears will be found there.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our inner strength in the Lord is growing every day.  These troubles and sufferings of ours are, after all, quite small and won’t last very long. Yet this short time of distress will result in God’s richest blessing upon us forever and ever! So we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in heaven which we have not yet seen. The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:6-18, (TLB)

Breakfast Casseroles Mean Love

Once a month, we have a leadership meeting for the ministry volunteers. Serving breakfast is the least we can do for these awesome folks. And, you know, if you’re going to ask someone to give up part of their Saturday to sit in a church basement, you should offer them a little more than a cup of coffee, right? I love our volunteers. They’re some of my favorite people.

Attendance to our meetings varies from month to month—it’s never a full house—so I’m rarely cooking for more than a dozen people. I can handle that pretty well, and I really enjoy it a lot. I love being able to do something to show them how much they mean to us. It’s a little something, but hopefully they know there is a lot of love in their breakfast casserole.

Tomorrow, I am serving Paula Dean’s French Toast Casserole, lots of bacon and sausage, and fresh berries. I haven’t made a French Toast Casserole in many moons, so I hope it comes out well. Doug scoffed at the four pounds of bacon, but I don’t think it will be enough. Ten men can eat a lot of bacon!

Well, I’ hope you have a great weekend.  I’ll let you know if the casserole was success in tonight’s Saturday Evening Post.

God bless you today! ❤

”Who’s Ready?”

The Pastor concluded his sermon with a question:

“So, who’s ready to follow Jesus onto the mission field today?”

He was only half-serious. He knew his congregation well enough—a smallish group of young families and retired couples. These were good folks who loved Jesus, but to imagine any of them even receiving a call to the foreign mission field, much less answering it, could probably put a strain on even his faith. He was just trying to make a point.

And, his congregation responded just as he expected. They laughed and looked at each other, nodding their heads at one another as if to say, “Our pastor’s so funny!”

Then, at the rear of the sanctuary there was a sudden movement. A voice rang out: “Me! I’m ready to go!”

The congregation turned their heads. Her husband was standing in the aisle. She looked up at him in stunned silence, as both of his hands were raised high above his head. What is he doing? He was dead serious.

She felt herself sinking lower into the pew, as the entire congregation looked their way. There were a few Amens, and some good-hearted laughter. They might not be taking him seriously, but they did admire his zeal. The Pastor acknowledged his enthusiasm and issued an appropriately affirming statement, but then pressed on with the service.

She quickly forgot about her husband’s impetuous response to the Pastor’s appeal that day. Why, between his health issues and mine, we wouldn’t last a week on a foreign mission field!

It was the summer of 2002, and just the beginning.