The Christian Life

7 Questions to Ask Your Church

/ SaxophoneWife / 1 Comment

While children’s safety from sexual predators in church is always on the forefront of my mind, having a grandchild has made this issue very personal for me once again. So, I thought I would remind us all of some very important questions. This is a revised version of an article I wrote about two years ago. 

There is a good chance you attend church with a sexual predator who is targeting the children who attend church with you.  That does not mean you should be suspicious of every man or woman who walks through the door on Sunday morning, but it does mean you should question the safety protocol your church has established to protect their youngest congregants.

1. Is There A Policy In Place?

  • Is leadership prepared to give you an answer?
  • Is there a printed brochure or informational packet?

2. Is There Transparency And Accountability?

  • Will leadership tell you of any past offenses that may have occurred under the church’s jurisdiction?
  • Are recovering abusers in the congregation made to uphold a standard of conduct in the church and at church events? Are they in an accountability relationship with the church leadership?
  • Do you will feel free to bring your concerns to the leadership? Do they invite your holding them accountable?

3. Is There Awareness?

  • Does the leadership publicly acknowledge that child sexual abuse is a concern?
  • Do former victims know there is someone in leadership they can confide in and trust?
  • Does the pastor preach messages that minister to the hurting?
  • Are parents educated in how to protect their children at church, at home, in school, and in their community?
  • Are parents taught how to recognize signs of abuse? and
  • Are parents told how to report an incident to a civic authority, or does the leadership urge the congregation to “keep it in the family”?

4. Are Workers Screened? 

  • Is everyone working with minors in church, or at church events, required to have a criminal record screening for each state where they have resided?
  • Are prospective thoroughly researched online? Is their social media scrutinized?
  • Are the references for prospective church staff and volunteers required and contacted?
  • is there a waiting period?
  • Are allowances made for people of reputation or position? Pastor’s family members? Is no one exempt?

5. Do Workers Follow Proper Protocol?

  • First and foremost, is there regular training for staff and volunteers (workers), so that they know and are reminded of the Safety Protocol?
  • Are two workers present with unaccompanied minors at all times? (Husband and wife teams don’t count!)
  • Are workers prohibited from meeting with minors privately, or driving them anywhere alone?
  • Are workers prohibited from privately emailing or texting minors?
  • Is physical contact restricted? (Not prohibited, but restricted.)
  • Are workers required to dress appropriately and modestly?

 6. Are Workers Protecting And Defending?

  • Is alter ministry gender-specific, or married couples praying for individuals?
  • Are minors escorted to the bathroom, with a worker on guard outside?
  • Are minors signed-in and out of class, and only released to approved guardians?
  • Are workers trained to detect signs of abuse, and given a protocol to follow? Are workers alert and on guard?
  • Are charges of abuse reported to the proper authorities, or are congregants told to keep complaints and accusations “in the family”?

 7. Is The Whole Church Working Together?

  • Is every worker is screened, not only those working with minors?
  • Is every leader fluent in the reporting protocol?
  • Do ushers make the rounds during Sunday School?
  • Does the pastor family and follow smart practices, too? No exemptions.
  • Are church computers password protected, with porn-filtering safeguards in place?

MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Your church may not be abiding by safe practices. There may be no written safety protocol. That doesn’t mean you should leave your church. Instead, work with your pastor to make sure policies are put into place. Maybe, you can help organize a committee. Maybe, you can gather resources, or do online research. There is so much information available. Go to your church leaders. That’s the place to start. You will likely discover that one of the biggest hindrances to children’s safety in your church is a lack of workers. In that case, I hope you will consider becoming a volunteer yourself. Your efforts could save a child from a soul-crushing hurt, and protect his or her future from years of pain.

Remember: the place to start is by asking the first question. Anyone can do it, and every church member should.

Bring It On, New Year!

/ SaxophoneWife / 2 Comments

As I think about the New Year, I just cannot resist the temptation to look back at 2016. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but this past year was not my favorite. I’ve been looking forward to a new calendar!

However, I have no reason to think 2017 won’t be full of the very same challenges that kicked my tookus in 2016. Let’s be honest: our problems don’t belong to the calendar. They belong to us. And, they go with us wherever we go—new address, new relationship, new year.

There is a way to overcome our problems, though. That doesn’t mean our problems will go away, but it does mean we can overcome them. That distinction matters.

STEP ONE
If we can be honest with ourselves, the first step to overcoming our problems is taking a long, hard look in the mirror. It might not be pretty—in fact, it might be downright horrifying—but if we cannot see ourselves rightly, we’ll never make it through Step Two.

STEP TWO
For the person who believes in God, Step Two is prayer. Now, I’m not talking about prayers that sound more like begging, demanding, or bargaining. I mean prayers of repentance. Prayers that acknowledge God is The Answer: our Hope and our Help. If we’ve been trying to solve our problems ourselves, it’s time we remember that our lives are supposed to be in His hands. That is not a mystical or romantic notion. It’s surrender, and surrender is obedience.

THAT’S KINDA IT
Two simple steps. Repeat as needed. I know that may seem ridiculous, but I know it works.

There are many ways God has taught this simple method to me, but I will use one particular problem that dominated a good part of last year. It started out rather small, but it just began to escalate. There came a point when it had brought so much strife into my marriage that I really thought it might be the thing we couldn’t survive. I know you might be tempted to imagine what the problem was, but I can guarantee you won’t guess. It was something so mundane, but the Enemy caught me off-guard and found a way to use it against me, my husband, our marriage, our family, and the ministry. I would be ashamed to admit I allowed anything to do that, but Christ took my shame when I finally repented.

Repentance finally came when I “accidentally” caught a glimpse of my Self in the mirror. I had been praying about this problem, and showing me the truth about myself was God’s merciful answer.  Oy! It was bad. The image I saw in the mirror was an ugly beast of selfishness and pride. That’s not me, I said to God. “Yes, it is,” He replied.

Well, it wasn’t exactly that moment I repented. I’m a stubborn fool, and it took a few more days of me hearing the most awful things coming out of my mouth. I think the Saxophone Player must have thought I’d lost my mind. I was so convinced, though, that The Problem was the problem. But, then it happened. I was standing in our bedroom, and I finally had to admit The Problem wasn’t the problem. What am I doing?  I was the real problem. My sinful attitude. My arrogance. My disobedience. The thing I’d allowed Satan to use? Eh. It didn’t go away. It will be with us in 2017. Maybe, forever, but my sinful response and willingness to yield myself to the spirit of pride was the problem that was keeping God’s grace from abounding in the midst of The Problem.

You see, that’s what God’s about, my dear friends. His Holy Spirit abides with us, and is our ever-present help in trouble not to remove all the troubles of life, but to help us walk through them. God is not looking for us to live the perfect life one imagines their photogenic Facebook friends are living. He calls us to be perfect as He was perfect, which means we face trouble and sin not.

We serve a good and loving Father, generously giving without measure. However, He is a Father. That means He is willing to allow us to throw our tantrums and stumble as we learn to walk, because He knows it’s working something in us. He is just asking that we trust Him to know best. If The Problem remains, will we curse Him and blame Him and stop obeying? Or, will we continue to yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to do what He pleases, allowing whatever trouble or suffering He believes will best work His perfection in us? That is the kind of trust He longs for us to have in Him, and His commitment to us is to keep bringing us to those places where every weakness, every bit of doubt and unbelief, is challenged and worked out of us through repentance, surrender, and obedience.

And asking that the way you live will always please the Lord and honor him, so that you will always be doing good, kind things for others, while all the time you are learning to know God better and better. We are praying, too, that you will be filled with his mighty, glorious strength so that you can keep going no matter what happens—always full of the joy of the Lord, and always thankful to the Father who has made us fit to share all the wonderful things that belong to those who live in the Kingdom of light. (Colossians 1:11-12, TLB)

Happy New Year, my friends! I hope you and yours welcomed 2017 in health and safety, and I pray this new year brings you ever closer to the One who loves us enough to stick by our side—even through the temper tantrums of life. ❤

Colossians11.1

Do You Feel Like A Deflated Balloon??

/ SaxophoneWife / 2 Comments

ONCE UPON A TIME, you had a marvelous encounter with God. You felt His love all around you. You knew you were loved, and you only had eyes for Jesus. He was the only One for you. Everything in your life felt right, it felt good. No mountain seemed too high, because you were floating on a heavenly cloud of His grace and love.

But, something happened. Something changed. God didn’t change. His love for you sure didn’t change. Yet, instead of feeling lighter than air, you began to feel like a deflated balloon: abandoned, powerless, and pointless.

I WAS WITH DOUG ONCE, as he counseled a man who had been struggling with sin. His old man kept showing up, leading him back into the life Christ had saved him from years earlier. He became so frustrated and upset as he talked about how hard it had become to live righteously, that he finally burst out and said, “I need to get that feeling back. I don’t have that feeling anymore.”

In essence, he was saying he wanted to go back to the Damascus Road, back to that time and place where he first met Jesus, where he first felt His love, and where he first knew Christ as Savior.  He thought he could finally be obedient, again, if he could just have that old feeling, again, too.

He was looking for a Jesus fix, and that’s as wrong as it sounds.

OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST is experiential, but while our initial experience with Jesus is something we should always remember and share,  we should be having new experiences with Him every day! 

In Revelation 2, the Lord speaks to the church of Ephesus about their Damascus Road experience. He is telling them: Remember when? 

 “Yet there is one thing wrong; you don’t love me as at first! 5 Think about those times of your first love (how different now!) and turn back to me again and work as you did before; or else I will come and remove your candlestick from its place among the churches.” (Revelation 2:4-6, TLB)

It reminded me of what this Brother had been talking about to Doug.  However, notice the Lord’s instruction. He doesn’t say, “Go back to the Damascus Road! Let’s start this relationship over.” No, His exhortation to Ephesus is, “Repent. Or, else.” They have lost that lovin’ feelin’, because  they have forsaken their relationship with Him, choosing self and sin over service and Him.

But, there is still time! There is still time to repent and turn back. The ball is in their court.

THE BALL IS IN OUR COURT, TOO. If we’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, it’s not Christ’s fault. He hasn’t lifted His love from us. He hasn’t stopped interceding for us before the Father, or showering us with His mercy and grace. He hasn’t forgotten us, or cast us aside. He has remained faithful. It is we who stop short and turn away, falling back into our old life.  It is we who stop loving Him, not the other way around.

I know. I read that and think the same thing you may be thinking: “No! I love God with all my heart.”

Yet, when I have found myself in that place, feeling spiritually deflated, powerless, and pointless, I ask the Holy Spirit to truly examine my heart, to see if there is any wicked way in me (Psalm 139:23-24), and I always find that there is a lot more compromise than I could see on my own. Self and sin are so blinding, so deceitful. It is why we often stay in those places of compromise so long, because we trust too much on our own judgment, instead of remembering that only He can judge our heart.  We cannot trust our feelings, or our judgment. We need the Holy Spirit to open our eyes.

Then, when we have allowed the Spirit of God to search us and the Word of God to test us, we know how to repent. As we humble ourselves before the Lord once again, prostrating ourselves at His feet in repentance and surrender, we will find that feeling we were missing. Our hearts will once again be full of love for our King. And, we will find ourselves walking in the ways of righteousness with a greater strength, purpose, and lightness!

THERE IS HOPE, MY FRIENDS. So much hope! Turn away from the compromise, the sin, and the selfish lifestyle. Turn away from satisfying your flesh, and be restored to the One who loves you best, the One whom your soul longs for!

God bless you, dear ones. Jesus loves you, right where you, but He longs for you to walk in true freedom, power, and victory. I long for that for you, too!

2016-08-29-13-56-03
P.S. Psalm 130 is just such a perfect passage to encourage our hearts, when we are sin-sick and hurting.

PSALM 130:1-6 (TLB)
From the depths of despair, O Lord,
    I call for your help.
2 Hear my cry, O Lord.
    Pay attention to my prayer.

3 Lord, if you kept a record of our sins,
    who, O Lord, could ever survive?
4 But you offer forgiveness,
    that we might learn to fear you.

5 I am counting on the Lord;
    yes, I am counting on him.
    I have put my hope in his word.
6 I long for the Lord
    more than sentries long for the dawn,
    yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.

Had To Tell Someone

/ SaxophoneWife / 1 Comment

It’s not good news.

Today the Saxophone Player heard the words we never wanted to hear: You were right.

My heart aches.

Of course, we knew he was right. We knew he was hearing from the Lord. We just hoped it wouldn’t be as bad as this. (This subject is closely related to the subject of this post: CLICK.)

We hoped.

You know, sometimes we are only given enough information to make the right choice. No matter what others think of us, we must do the right thing. We must pray for the courage and faith to choose well and do what will honor God, not please man. It isn’t easy to disappoint people, but there are wicked forces at work in the world. We must have the wisdom to know when God is saying, “This is My fight.”

Friends, things are happening in our nation that I never thought I would witness. I urge you to seek the Lord, while He may be found (Isaiah 55:6).

P.S. The Lord’s timing is always so interesting to me.

Guest Post from TSP: “The Question of Authority”

/ SaxophoneWife / 2 Comments
A guest post from The Saxophone Player. Feel free to comment, or leave questions. He will be glad to respond.

THE QUESTION OF AUTHORITY
by Doug Gregan

The most astounding thing about the subject of Christians drinking alcohol is the narrow focus that both sides of the discussion tend to stay on.
The spiritual root of drinking is one of authority, and friendship with the world; neither of which do I ever hear discussed. The very nature of an intimate relationship with God is one of increased presence, resulting in increased holiness. This question of whether or not a Christian should drink, or if drinking is sin, is shallow and weak. The real question should be:
“Why aren’t Christians more Christ-like?”
We are called out from among them, to be separate. Friendship with the world is enmity with God, and brings us under the authority of the world and its spirit. The spirit that drives alcohol is undeniably of the world, and under the authority of Satan. There is no man or woman alive who can tell me of a time when drinking brought them into a greater intimacy with Christ, drove them to love God more, or brought them into greater holiness and sanctification.
Does not the scripture tell us from beginning to the end that He is calling us out and unto Himself? Consider Romans  6:18-22:
“You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves.
“Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness.
“When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!
“But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.” (Romans 6:18-22, NIV)
This is the key to the whole issue, whether it be drinking, watching anything that exalts the flesh, gluttonous eating, dressing like the world, or engaging in any behavior that opens the door for the flesh to be strengthened.
“What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!” (Romans 6:21, NIV)
And, it does result in death.
Complacency, laziness, a lack of sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, a lack of compassion towards those who don’t, can’t, or won’t “handle” the same things you can—it is all death. It produces a self-righteous, self-centered attitude evidenced by the countless defensive comments that come up in these type of discussions.
Then, there is the subtle, but incredible importance of spiritual authority mentioned in verse 16:
“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey, whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?” (Romans 6:16, NIV)
Those who drink are yielding a measure of their spiritual authority to the flesh and to the Devil. Alcohol, by it’s very nature, deadens sensitivity to Holy Spirit and weakens our ability to control the flesh as we should.
The angry man is more susceptible to anger.
The lustful man is more vulnerable to lust.
The proud man is prone towards pride.
The depressed man more inclined toto be depressed.
The jealous man more easily made  jealous.
And, on it goes….
This all takes place when one “walks in his freedom to drink.”
I’ve served in prison ministry for fourteen years and cannot begin to tell of the devastation and carnage left in the wake of alcohol. This includes Christians, men and women becoming casual with drinking, declaring their freedom to do so. I have yet to have a drug addict tell me that their addiction was not preceded by alcohol use.
Yet, we proudly demand and defend our right to drink. It is sad and shameful. The Devil mocks and laughs at the impotence of the Church to touch our generation with Christ-like love, life, and POWER. We would do well to heed the call of James 4. After exposing the Lord’s attitude towards worldliness, James says in 4:7-10:
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” (James 4:7-10, NIV)
I understand fully the emptiness of imposing restrictions and not trusting in the transforming work of the Spirit to bring about abundant life, balance, and control. The emphasis of my sharing is on the yoking of ourselves to spiritual forces and influences we have no business being in agreement with. Light has no agreement wih darkness. Consider 1 Corinthians 6:12:
“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” (1 Corinthians 6:12, KJV)
We interact with this verse only on the level of the substance or behavior in question, but it transcends that. It speaks to every spiritual dynamic that is associated with those elements.
Where are those who are broken, weeping between the porch and altar, for the souls of those bound and enslaved? One can defend the biblical right to eat and drink. I get that. But, who can show me a man who is ministering in power and authority, yet allows himself to be brought under the authority of the spiritual forces connected to these worldly elements? They are not profitable. We will never step into the realm of darkness, addiction, and brokenness with any authority to bring genuine deliverance, if we are yoked to these things.
Should this be the shining prize I declare to the addicted and their broken family? “One day, you’ll be able to drink in freedom, like I do.”
I am deeply concerned by the absence of genuine discipleship that prepares God’s people to be ambassadors of reconciliation, walking in the power of God to bring the lost, broken, and hurting into freedom. Please, take a few minutes to read Ephesians 4:11-27, and prayerfully consider the life you are living today.
I welcome your comments and questions.

A Magnifying Glass and a Mirror

/ SaxophoneWife / 1 Comment

I originally wrote this list for my daughter.

She was still single, and articles were always flying around about what kind of man to marry. I would read them and scratch my head. Something was missing.

So,  I started writing, and this is what came out. For everything I thought a husband should be, I realized there was a proper response for the woman. That made sense to me.

Personally, I appreciate reminders like this. We aren’t wrong to want better from our husbands, but let’s focus instead on giving him our best. Let’s put down the magnifying glass, and pick up a mirror. You will see, it is a very different picture.

 

Marriage Musts

1. He must listen to you.
           Be kind. 

2. He must keep growing.
           Be the sunshine of his life. 

3. He must have a grateful heart.
           Be considerate of his needs. 

4. He must care about your personal growth.
           Be willing to change.

 5. He must never give up.
           Be merciful, when he fails.

 6. He must make you laugh.
           Be charmed by his efforts.

7. He must be in love with God.
           Be sure God is your first love, too. 

8. He must be the priest of your home.
           Be his intercessor.

9. He must be affectionate.
           Be his comfort.

10. He must be generous.
           Be a good steward.

11. He must be a provider.
           Be content with what you have.

13. He must defend you.
           Be careful to choose your fights well.

14. He must hold himself to a biblical standard.
           Be “a woman who fears God.” (Proverbs 31)

15. He must have a servant’s heart.
          Be willing to serve alongside him.

16. He must communicate.
          Be a good listener.

17. He must make you feel beautiful.
          Be the woman who makes him feel like a man.

18. He must care about your interests.
          Be invested in his.

19. He must be respectful of your family.
          Be in love with his.

20. He must be kind and gentle.
          Be strong and supportive.

21. He must be transparent.
          Be slow to anger.

22. He must be your Brother in Christ.
          Be first his Sister, than his wife.

23. He must cherish you.
          Be respectful of him.

24. He must share the duties of homekeeping.
          Be a good manager of your home.

25. He must lay down his life for you.
          Be his best friend.

2015-08-02 14.22.24 a

Today’s Journal: 7/14/16

/ SaxophoneWife / 2 Comments

Outside my window it has been a classic, New England summer’s day. Not very fond of humidity, but it’s the price we pay for a long, winter’s nap.

I am thinking about spiritual growth and how God proves His love. (Hebrews 12:6-11) 

I am thankful for a visit with some of the Thursday night ladies.  It was really nice to sit together, again.

I am reading Biography of George Peabody by Phebe A. Hanaford, published in 1882. Want to more about the man who bequeathed a library to our town.

I am working on assorted projects. Nothing too exciting.

I am hoping to get a postage scale for free. Figured I’ll hope until I’m forced to buy one. You never know.

I am praying for children. Parents have the privilege of modeling the love relationship between Christ and the Body.  Or, they can provoke their children to wrath.

I am meditating on Ephesians 6:4.

P.S.

On very hot days, you gotta think SNOW! Here are some “chilling” pictures of winter’s past, to help you cool off! Click to enlarge.

 

Today’s Journal: 7/10/16

/ SaxophoneWife / 4 Comments

Today, outside my window…it’s grey, drizzling. I love days like this.  Today, I am thinking…about the dry spots in the flower bed. It rained so much last night, yet there are places in the bed that are as dry as the desert. Where it is dry, the roots are shallow. This makes it easy to weed, but also easy to pull up something that might be fruitful. Where the ground holds the water, there is so much more life.  Today, I am thankful for…for a daughter and son-in-law who make their way over on Sundays and snuggle on the couch and wash their clothes and help make supper. I’m thankful for the easiness of their company. I’m living the dream. Today, I am reading…nothing. Several books await me.  Today, I am working on…weeding the flower bed and feeding the family. Lots of duties I need to attend to, but I think I’ll be happy to just sort a few piles of collected papers and put away the clean towels. The easiness of this day should not be taken for granted. Easy days are a gift; pure luxury. Today, I am hoping…to make the most of the next three weeks. Our days with Maddie are very sweet, and driving into the city every day is kind of wonderful. I am also hoping that tomorrow will be the day we can finally force Doug to take his saxophone into the city. He’s been playing with the idea of busking, and Maddie and I think the Public Garden or the Commons would be a perfect spot.  Today, I am praying for…for our sad, hurting nation.  Today, I am meditating on….how some Christians are like that soil in my flower bed. No matter how much they get watered, they seem so dry, so unfruitful. Nothing takes root. The great truths the Spirit of God has planted in their hearts are easily pulled out by the schemes of the Enemy. It’s not good. Also, meditating on Romans 5.

P.S.

 When we get into the city early, we visit the Public Garden or the Commons. This week, we found this beautiful. She came really close to us. Then, we spotted a feather in the middle of the pond. I wanted it very much, and willed it to us. Maddie and Doug were laughing at me, but it came right to me, and she has a nice souvenir now.

A Picture of Contentment

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The other day, I turned around from my kitchen sink, and saw this:

2016-04-13 15.53.12

It was just one of those moments, and I thought how good the Lord was, to bless me so much.

It is easy to feel those blessings on a sunny day, isn’t it? When your kitchen is tidy, and you have fresh flowers on your table?

But, life can change in a moment. One day, it may not be as peaceful as we know it to be now. The comforts and pleasures we take for granted, like a table cloth or fresh blueberries, may be not be so easy to come by and enjoy.

I don’t want to take these luxuries for granted.

If you have not read Corrie ten Boom’s book, “The Hiding Place,” I encourage you to read it. The movie is very good, too, but the book shares details the movie cannot. Those details tell a bigger story. She was about my age, when Word War II broke out in Europe. She and her family lived a very happy and comfortable life, but in a moment, everything changed. She was spiritualy prepared, though, for the troubles that came upon her, because she had been watching the signs, reading God’s Word, and praying. Her devotional life was essential to her.

Doug and I speak a lot of wanting to be spiritually prepared for the day in which we live. We are far from where we should be, but He keeps calling us to Himself. I think He is calling us all. We need to be watching, reading, and praying. It needs to be an essential part of our life. Everything can change in a moment, but if we are spiritually prepared, we will endure.

I want to be ready.

He Is Even For Despicable Me

/ SaxophoneWife / 3 Comments

This has been a hard day.

A hard day, following a brutal weekend. It has not been an easy season for us in the ministry. Either the Enemy is bringing out the heavy artillery, or we are really just failing the Lord. Our heart aches for people we love. We continue to put it all in the Lord’s hands, but it’s not an easy time. It is a terrible thing to think you have made it harder for someone you were supposed to be helping.

And, honestly, we’re tired. It has been a hard season. Personal challenges and ministry challenges aren’t weighed separately. They are measured on the same scale. When someone calls at 1:30 in the morning, in full-blown crisis, you don’t tell them, “I’m sorry, but I’ve had a very long day, I have an early morning, and I’m actually really sick.” Well, I think it’s kind of caught up to us.

And, today was especially hard.

After Doug left for his meeting, I decided to go out and plant sunflowers. Now, there is a problem with planting sunflowers. The only place in our yard where they will get enough sun is on the opposite side of the house from the water spigot. That means I need a very long hose to water. I have a watering can, but the rosette is not very delicate. It disrupts those little seeds. Plus, as they grow they will need more water. Hauling water by the bucketful isn’t very appealing. So, I’ve procrastinated. Daily, I think about how much we will enjoy those sunflowers, but planting sunflowers means hauling out the 50-foot hose to make a 75-foot hose. Where am I going to put 75 feet of unruly garden hose? Plus, “someone” had hung the hose up above my head in the shed. I’m tall, but it was going to be a pain to get down. I don’t know how I got it up there!

But, I was in a mood. I was feeling defiant! 

I was just frustrated enough after the day’s events. So, I yanked and pulled and wrestled. I hooked-up and dragged and conquered. I collected my seeds and discovered my trowel was broken. Never mind! I’ll find something else to use! I was not to be defeated. I might be weary, but I won’t quit! I don’t care about the hardships, disappointments, or failures. It hurts, and I hate it, but I’m going to keep planting!

As I came around the shed, loaded down with all my goods, I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me to look up. It was quick. I almost ignored Him. I didn’t want to look up—it has been a hang-your-head kinda day—but was it the kind of day to disobey the Lord? Never.

So, I looked up, in every direction, beyond the roof line of my neighbors’ homes. I started to cry.

For Me Sky

“For you,” the Lord spoke into my spirit.

We all love a bright, blue sky with puffy, white clouds. I know that sky is a gift for anyone who sees it. But, the Lord knows my particular weakness for a Maxfield Parrish sky. Oh! He knows my heart!

Today, I needed to know that. I needed to know He knows my heart. I needed to know that He as not far from me. I have let people down. I have failed badly. Yet, I am still loved by the One I have failed most. I don’t know how He loves any of us so much, but I needed to be reminded that He does.

I guess I was outside about half-an-hour (long enough to listen to this sermon), and as I came inside I kept hearing this phrase:  He knows our every weakness. I could hear it as a song lyric, but I’m not one of those people who remembers song titles and I’m notorious for getting lyrics wrong. So, I went to Google. I thought the voice in my headed sounded like Kari Jobe. That made it easier to find the song, which was good, because I totally had the lyric wrong.

Well, I almost cannot believe how perfectly that song spoke to what the Lord had done for me that evening. Do you know the kindness of God? He is very kind. I am very grateful. I cannot believe how much He loves despicable me.

I don’t know what you are going through today, but if you feel kinda awful today, or like you have totally failed the Lord, I hope you will know that He is just a cry for help away. Don’t let the Devil trample your faith. Don’t let the Enemy win the battle. The war isn’t over, and I seriously do not know how we are going to make it through, but today He kept me. I am confidant that tomorrow He will keep me, too.