Passing Time

We were locked out of our car, waiting in the parking lot of Market Basket for the AAA dude. Took this picture to help pass the time. Or, maybe I wanted to mark the time.

We were on our way to my sister’s house, the Historian. It was a very impromptu family gathering. People changed plans and food was thrown together – hence, Market Basket.

One of the things I’d purchased at Market Basket was an apple pie. The Historian had been very sick the past two weeks, not eating much. I knew she would reject apple pie, if I offered it to her. So, I almost didn’t buy it.

Yet, something in me said, “Get it, anyway.”

So much time was passing, I almost thought we should just skip going. I had work to do. She was going to get to see the littles, and that was really what the day was about, I thought.

AAA dude showed up. Cracked our window, but we got the keys and headed to Maine.

That was the last time I would see my sister alive. I look at this picture and the silly spontaneity in it is gone for me. Now, it’s just the last picture of me on the last day I got to see her alive.

I’m so thankful for that day. So thankful everyone came together. God was so kind to us. The last thing my sisters and I did together was pray. I still don’t like God’s answer, but Psalm 116:15 is a good verse to keep in my heart:

His loved ones are very precious to Him, and He does not lightly let them die.
Psalm 116:15

While it is still hard to believe she is gone, it was six months ago this week. Time passes.

As I sat with my sister that afternoon, she said she had a taste for something. “What can I bring you? I’ll bring you anything you like.” “You know, I wish we had some apple pie. That’s what I’d like. A little piece of apple pie.”

God is good.

Companions

I have been keeping company with Sadness today.

Sadness was a frequent guest last year. When the new year brought new loss, he set-up camp. I did not invite him, but he does not leave.

Most of the time, I find his company bearable. He is not usually oppressive. Present, but only passively imposing himself. Most days, I hold my focus on Happiness, and Sadness lurks in the shadows. I can almost convince myself he isn’t even there.

Then I turn a corner just a moment too soon, and come face-to-face with my old enemy. A painful confrontation. I am suddenly reminded of all that is lost, and Happiness is unseated.

Happiness is always fleeting.

01b36825406aa7b3453c493779a5139749df00e436

Ah, but I have learned not to depend on Happiness. She is my fickle friend. Hope is my true and steady friend; always near. I take her hand and face Sadness down.

From the blog

Stay up to date with the latest from our blog.

  • Go Ahead and Ask

    I just want to encourage you to do one thing today: ask God. Ask Him for anything and everything. Ask Him for whatever it is…

  • My Saturday Evening Post: 12/16/17

    Home alone for while. Baked some cookies for Doug’s meeting tonight. Spent too much time researching fudge and shortbread recipes. I can hear my phone…

  • My Saturday Evening Post: 12/9/17

    My Saturday Evening Post: 12/9/17

    Lots of pictures and videos ahead. You have been warned! LOL The Upstairs Neighbors* were out of town this week. They arrived back home early…

  • Saturday Evening Post: 12/2/17

    Saturday Evening Post: 12/2/17

    Well, this has been an exciting week: our granddaughter celebrated her first birthday! There were sprinkles everywhere, and a pool full of happy children swimming…

  • Be Free

    It hit the morning after the memorial, and I began to dwell on it. Meditate on it. The What Ifs and If Onlys descended upon me like a crushing weight. Nights became days, because I could not sleep. My head would hit the pillow and my mind would become instantly flooded with unwelcome thoughts that came to…

  • A Guest Blog from TSP

    My husband, aka The Saxophone Player and the Director of New Brothers Fellowship, wrote a short and very good piece on the NBF Blog yesterday. I wanted to share it with you. Betrayal by Doug Gregan There is something incomprehensible to me, as I witness established Christians, with years of faith and knowledge of the…

  • Saturday Evening Post: 10/10/18

    • Today is Blog #16 for Blog-tober, my month to blog every day. Still working on catching up. (It should be Blog #20.) It has been a very interesting experience. • Doug said the French Toast Casserole was a win. No pictures, but also no leftovers. That’s a good sign. • I made a 7-blade…

Blog

Welcome to a world of limitless possibilities, where the journey is as exhilarating as the destination, and where every moment is an opportunity to make your mark on the canvas of existence. The only limit is the extent of your imagination.

  • It hit the morning after the memorial, and I began to dwell on it. Meditate on it. The What Ifs and If Onlys descended upon me like a crushing weight. Nights became days, because I could not sleep. My head would hit the pillow and my mind would become instantly flooded with unwelcome thoughts that came to…

  • A Guest Blog from TSP

    My husband, aka The Saxophone Player and the Director of New Brothers Fellowship, wrote a short and very good piece on the NBF Blog yesterday. I wanted to share it with you. Betrayal by Doug Gregan There is something incomprehensible to me, as I witness established Christians, with years of faith and knowledge of the…

  • Saturday Evening Post: 10/10/18

    • Today is Blog #16 for Blog-tober, my month to blog every day. Still working on catching up. (It should be Blog #20.) It has been a very interesting experience. • Doug said the French Toast Casserole was a win. No pictures, but also no leftovers. That’s a good sign. • I made a 7-blade…

  • Sharing a Post: “Carrying life made me pro-life.”

    This is a post from my daughter. I have always been pro-life, let’s get that out of the way. I’m 12 weeks pregnant, one week away from being out of my first trimester. This week, my baby can open and close their fists,… Source: Carrying life made me pro-life.

  • Purple Rain

    I am sure that if I watched it today, I would be a little horrified. However, when I was 18-years-old, the movie “Purple Rain” was heart-wrenching and life-changing. It was pure passion—for justice, for creativity, and for self-expression. A boy, whose face I cannot even recall, took me to a movie theater is Los Cerritos…

  • Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    I answered this question 15 years ago, almost to the day. My answer surprised me, and changed my life. Over the years, this question has become a self-examination I like to take again from time to time. It’s become a way for me to just take inventory of my life, and confront places of spiritual…

  • I Knew Him When

    I Knew Him When

    I can’t let this day pass, without noting that today is the Saxophone Player’s birthday. Today, my husband turned 50-years-old!  Isn’t that the coolest thing? I was thinking about how neat it is that I have known him so long, through so much of his life’s phases and stages and experiences. I knew him when! I…

  • What an Apology Isn’t

    What an Apology Isn’t

    Bad things happen. People make mistakes. Say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. React and act out. It just happens. No one is always perfectly behaved, and sometimes our actions hurt other people. When our actions hurt others, and there is a breech in relationship, repairing that breech and restoring the relationship need to…

Blog

Welcome to a world of limitless possibilities, where the journey is as exhilarating as the destination, and where every moment is an opportunity to make your mark on the canvas of existence. The only limit is the extent of your imagination.

Latest episodes

Our latest, ready for you to listen

  • Be Free

    It hit the morning after the memorial, and I began to dwell on it. Meditate on it. The What Ifs and If Onlys descended upon me like a crushing weight. Nights became days, because I could not sleep. My head would hit the pillow and my mind would become instantly flooded with unwelcome thoughts that came to…

  • A Guest Blog from TSP

    My husband, aka The Saxophone Player and the Director of New Brothers Fellowship, wrote a short and very good piece on the NBF Blog yesterday. I wanted to share it with you. Betrayal by Doug Gregan There is something incomprehensible to me, as I witness established Christians, with years of faith and knowledge of the…

  • Saturday Evening Post: 10/10/18

    • Today is Blog #16 for Blog-tober, my month to blog every day. Still working on catching up. (It should be Blog #20.) It has been a very interesting experience. • Doug said the French Toast Casserole was a win. No pictures, but also no leftovers. That’s a good sign. • I made a 7-blade…

Blog

Welcome to a world of limitless possibilities, where the journey is as exhilarating as the destination, and where every moment is an opportunity to make your mark on the canvas of existence. The only limit is the extent of your imagination.

  • It hit the morning after the memorial, and I began to dwell on it. Meditate on it. The What Ifs and If Onlys descended upon me like a crushing weight. Nights became days, because I could not sleep. My head would hit the pillow and my mind would become instantly flooded with unwelcome thoughts that came to…

  • A Guest Blog from TSP

    My husband, aka The Saxophone Player and the Director of New Brothers Fellowship, wrote a short and very good piece on the NBF Blog yesterday. I wanted to share it with you. Betrayal by Doug Gregan There is something incomprehensible to me, as I witness established Christians, with years of faith and knowledge of the…

  • Saturday Evening Post: 10/10/18

    • Today is Blog #16 for Blog-tober, my month to blog every day. Still working on catching up. (It should be Blog #20.) It has been a very interesting experience. • Doug said the French Toast Casserole was a win. No pictures, but also no leftovers. That’s a good sign. • I made a 7-blade…

Blog

Welcome to a world of limitless possibilities, where the journey is as exhilarating as the destination, and where every moment is an opportunity to make your mark on the canvas of existence. The only limit is the extent of your imagination.

Subscribe

Enter your email below to receive updates.

  • Sharing a Post: “Carrying life made me pro-life.”

    This is a post from my daughter. I have always been pro-life, let’s get that out of the way. I’m 12 weeks pregnant, one week away from being out of my first trimester. This week, my baby can open and close their fists,… Source: Carrying life made me pro-life.

  • Purple Rain

    I am sure that if I watched it today, I would be a little horrified. However, when I was 18-years-old, the movie “Purple Rain” was heart-wrenching and life-changing. It was pure passion—for justice, for creativity, and for self-expression. A boy, whose face I cannot even recall, took me to a movie theater is Los Cerritos…

  • Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    I answered this question 15 years ago, almost to the day. My answer surprised me, and changed my life. Over the years, this question has become a self-examination I like to take again from time to time. It’s become a way for me to just take inventory of my life, and confront places of spiritual…

  • I Knew Him When

    I Knew Him When

    I can’t let this day pass, without noting that today is the Saxophone Player’s birthday. Today, my husband turned 50-years-old!  Isn’t that the coolest thing? I was thinking about how neat it is that I have known him so long, through so much of his life’s phases and stages and experiences. I knew him when! I…

  • What an Apology Isn’t

    What an Apology Isn’t

    Bad things happen. People make mistakes. Say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. React and act out. It just happens. No one is always perfectly behaved, and sometimes our actions hurt other people. When our actions hurt others, and there is a breech in relationship, repairing that breech and restoring the relationship need to…

  • Sharing a Post: “Carrying life made me pro-life.”

    This is a post from my daughter. I have always been pro-life, let’s get that out of the way. I’m 12 weeks pregnant, one week away from being out of my first trimester. This week, my baby can open and close their fists,… Source: Carrying life made me pro-life.

  • Purple Rain

    I am sure that if I watched it today, I would be a little horrified. However, when I was 18-years-old, the movie “Purple Rain” was heart-wrenching and life-changing. It was pure passion—for justice, for creativity, and for self-expression. A boy, whose face I cannot even recall, took me to a movie theater is Los Cerritos…

  • Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    Self-Examinations Are Always Graded On A Curve

    I answered this question 15 years ago, almost to the day. My answer surprised me, and changed my life. Over the years, this question has become a self-examination I like to take again from time to time. It’s become a way for me to just take inventory of my life, and confront places of spiritual…

  • I Knew Him When

    I Knew Him When

    I can’t let this day pass, without noting that today is the Saxophone Player’s birthday. Today, my husband turned 50-years-old!  Isn’t that the coolest thing? I was thinking about how neat it is that I have known him so long, through so much of his life’s phases and stages and experiences. I knew him when! I…

  • What an Apology Isn’t

    What an Apology Isn’t

    Bad things happen. People make mistakes. Say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. React and act out. It just happens. No one is always perfectly behaved, and sometimes our actions hurt other people. When our actions hurt others, and there is a breech in relationship, repairing that breech and restoring the relationship need to…